


You're In My Skin, In My Soul

by melanoradrood



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, NSFW, One Shot Collection, Tumblr Prompt, rebelcaptainsmutweekend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-14 00:21:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 48
Words: 39,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melanoradrood/pseuds/melanoradrood
Summary: A full collection of 47 oneshots, all filled for the August RebelcaptainSmutWeekend on Tumblr.





	1. Directory

Part 1 : Kiss Prompts

  * [Angry kiss](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37411304)
  * [Kiss on a dare](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37411436)
  * [Exhausted parents kiss](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37411469)
  * [Jealous kiss ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37411532)
  * [Giggly kiss ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37411547)
  * [Returned from the dead kiss ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37411589)
  * [Returned from the dead kiss 2.0](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37411604)
  * [Spin the bottle kiss ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37411727)
  * [Forbidden kiss + Passionate kiss + In Secret kiss + Against a wall kiss ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37411736)
  * [In Secret kiss](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37411751)
  * [Accidentally Witnessed kiss ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37411766)
  * [Caught off-guard kiss](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37411778)
  * [Lazy Morning Kisses Before They’ve Even Opened Their Eyes, Still Mumbling Half-Incoherently, Not Wanting To Wake Up ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37411787)
  * [Routine Kisses Where The Other Person Presents Their Cheek Without Even Looking Up From What They’re Doing ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37411796)
  * [Staring At The Other’s Lips, Trying Not To Kiss Them, Before Giving In ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37411820)
  * [A Hoarse Whisper “Kiss Me” ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37411835)
  * [Height Difference Kisses Where One Person Has To Bend Down And The Other Is On Their Tippy Toes ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37411853)



Part 2 : Dialogue Prompts

  * [“The only way you’re getting off is on my thigh.” ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37412732)
  * [“You make a sound and it’s game over.”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37412747)
  * [“Let’s take this outside.” ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37412768)
  * [“Choke me.”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37412786)
  * [“Please, please let me come.” + “If you want it, beg for it.” ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37412801)
  * [“Come sit on my lap.” ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37412867)
  * [“I could really use a fuck right now.”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37412885)
  * [“Are you sure you want to do this in the car?”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37412921)
  * [“Where are your manners?” ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37413002)
  * [“Louder.” ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37413014)
  * [“I’ve been thinking about doing this all day.” ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37413023)
  * [“You’ve got too many clothes on.” ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37413050)
  * [“I can’t wait any longer.” ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37413077)
  * [“Someone’s gonna hear you.”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37413101)



Part 3 : Smutty Prompts

  * [slow sensual tender massage ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37417361)
  * [space sex toys](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37417394)
  * [walking in on the other jerking off](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37417028)
  * [walking in on the other jerking off + getting fucked over a desk or table ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37417049)
  * [coming untouched and/or early + angry sex ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37417058)
  * [extensive, prolonged make-outs](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37417070)
  * [surprise discovery of an overly-sensitive body part ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37417094)
  * [surprise discovery of an overly-sensitive body part + being shy about sex](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37417121)
  * [angry sex](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37417151)
  * [one person clothed and the other naked](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37417157)
  * [being shy about sex ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37417184)
  * [biting and/or marking ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37417220)
  * [accidental voyeurism by an outside POV](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37417280)
  * [talking about (but not having) sex ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37417292)
  * [getting fucked over a desk or table](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37417316)
  * [mutual masturbation ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029101/chapters/37417331)



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo you know how I disappeared for like... a month? This is why.


	2. Angry Kiss

Cassian is going through the pre-flight checklist, starting the engines, comming into the control tower, checking that everything on the old U-Wing is functioning, when Jyn climbs in. She settles into the co-pilot seat, and he barely glances over, instead finishing the list. When he gets the all clear to take off, he glances to make certain that Jyn is strapped in, and she gives a nod, the headset firmly into place.

“Rogue Two, pulling away,” she says, and she leans forward, flipping off auto-pilot for Cassian so that he can take the controls, taking them out of the base, through the atmosphere, and out into the vastness of space.  


A few minutes of waiting, as they simply fly, and then, Jyn reaches over to switch off their connection with the base comm. Everything from here on out will be scattered, bouncing all over the system. It’s just them, for now, and a long flight to gather up Baze and Chirrut from where they have been searching for more Guardians of the old ways. They have to fly halfway across the galaxy, it would seem.

Cassian is just about to push them into hyperdrive, and then he pauses, his eyes flicking towards Jyn. Her fingers are messing around with a few of the various switches, getting ready to set them to auto-pilot once they’re actually in the hyperspace lane, and she looks up at him, waiting for him to push them forward.

“Major?” she asks, and that… that hurts. That almost burns in his chest.  


The silent treatment, it’s been killing him. It’s not that they’re fighting. There would have to be an argument for them to fight. Instead, it’s just complete silence, her shutting him away, building a wall between them, and he doesn’t know  _why_.

The fact that she’s calling him his rank, rather than by his name? Something inside of him falls out, and every bit of happiness seems to leave him, the only thing left a bottomless pit of sorrow.

“What happened?” he asks, and his voice sounds so broken, when she looks up at him, she looks shocked. He can hear it, in the back of his throat, a near sob. He wants to cry, to scream, to-

“What?” she asks, and her eyes are suddenly filled with fear. What do you mean-”

“With us?” he corrects. “What happened to us?”  


She stares at him for the longest time, and then shakes her head.

“There is no  _us_ ,” she finally answers.  


Whatever’s left of Cassian, it dies, and he hits the hyperdrive, reaches over to flick on autopilot, and then gets up, leaving Jyn in the cockpit, because he can’t even look at her. It hurts too much to even try.

It takes five minutes, and then Jyn is sliding down the ladder into the cargo hold, hand raised, finger pointed at him.

“No,” she snaps, and he looks away from her, back at their gear that he’s repacking. “You don’t get to pull that bantha shit with me. You asked me what happened, and the truth is,  _nothing_.  _Nothing_  happened, Cassian. What more do you want me to say?”  


He whirls on her, fists clenched at his sides, and he tries to look larger than he feels, because suddenly, he feels tiny. “Something had to have happened. One moment, everything is fine, we’re friend, we’re partners, and the next, you just… you shut me out!”

She’s staring at him in shock, then shakes her head, taking a step back for a moment, then another step forward, like she won’t let him bully her out of her own personal space. “Nothing was ever fine, Cassian! You asked me to stay, asked me to stay for you, and then what?”

He’s wracking his brain, trying to figure out what she means, but he doesn’t… nothing  _happened_. Everything  _was_  fine! He doesn’t get where everything went wrong. 

“I asked you to stay, yes, and you stayed! I quit my position, so that we could work together. I fought for you, to get you a rank, to make you one of us. I vouched for you. We work together! What am I missing here?”  


He wants to ask, wants to hope, but-

“I didn’t stay for the karking job!” she snaps at him, and suddenly, he feels two inches tall when he sees what looks like tears in her eyes. “I stayed for you!”  


He feels it hit him, suddenly, what she meant by  _nothing_. Nothing had happened, meaning nothing had changed, meaning he hadn’t made a move, meaning he… she had stayed for him and he had done  _nothing_.

“Jyn, I-”  


It happens so fast, he almost isn’t ready for it, her fist swinging at him, and he grabs it, grabs hold. She’s angry, and he knows that, and he knows she lashes out when she’s angry, when she’s hurt. She swings at him again, and it’s halfhearted, because she could easily get out of his hold, but instead, she just struggles against him, trying to pull away, to shove him, to-

“Stop it!” she screams, and she finally jerks away, leaving him standing there, staring at her. “Nothing happened! Nothing changed! I get it, now. I’m still here, aren’t I?”  


It’s not enough. It’s not enough for her to just be here, for her to just exist. He’s stuck in her orbit, unable to pull away, and he… he loves her. He should have said something should have done something, should have-

“Hold up,” he says, and suddenly, he’s no longer feeling so defensive. If it mattered, this much, then- “Why didn’t you do anything, say anything?  _I asked you to stay. I welcomed you home_.”   


He had laid his heart out for her, had followed her into battle, had followed her towards death. He had placed not only his life in her hands, but the lives of men that he trusted, men that were like him, that needed the redemption she could offer them. He had reached out, had asked her to stay… 

“You don’t get to turn this around!” she snaps, and Cassian… he understands, now, why she had swung at him. It was fight or flight with them, always, and there was no way to get away from this.  


“I asked you to stay!” he repeats. “I asked you to stay, I followed you out there, and I’ll follow you every time! I follow you into battle every time you throw yourself out there, so how can you possibly say that it’s nothing? You’re my home, you’re my-”  


“Shut up!” she snaps, and he realizes the tears in her eyes are from the anger, building inside of her. “You don’t get to just throw yourself into the thick of it, nearly killing yourself, and then later claim that you did it for me. You don’t get to die for me! That’s just as bad as leaving, that’s-”  


“I will  _never_  leave you,” he snaps, and he surges forward, grabbing her waist, tugging her to him. In seconds, he has her pinned against the wall, and she shoves at his chest. Instead, his hands go to her wrists, and he pins them on either side of her head. “I’m trapped, Jyn. I’m trapped in your orbit. I can never escape you. You’re in my blood, in my veins-”  


She kisses him, hard, and he shoves her back harder into the wall, his knee going between her legs, pinning her there, his mouth pressing back against her lips. They’re both shoving at one another, almost a fight, but the kiss… neither of them wins, not even when they pull away, suck in a breath, then dive back in.

She shoves at him, suddenly, as soon as he lets go of her wrists, and he takes a few steps back, still staring at her. The anger is still there in her eyes, but it’s fading, much like it is in her own.

“Figure out what we’re doing,” she says, and she still sounds pissed, but her hand is going to her lips, touching them softly, like there’s a memory of a kiss. “You don’t get to just… kiss me and then die like some bantha brains.”  


He gulps, nodding, and he can still feel her body pressing to his, and for a moment, it almost feels like a dream.

“So are we an us?” he asks, and she glares at him for a moment, eyes thinning.  


“Ask me when I no longer what to shoot you,” she says, and she starts climbing up the ladder, then pauses, looking over at him. “Or don’t, if you want to fuck on the shitty mattress in the sleeping quarters.”  


He watches her climb up the ladder, eyes caught on her ass, and then he grins, climbing up after her, two rungs at a time.


	3. Kiss on a Dare

“I’d do it!” Leia insisted, and both Jyn and Shara rolled their eyes. They loved the Princess, they really did, but she was just as dense as the one that she called the ‘nerf herder’.

“Right. You’d just walk right up to him and kiss him.”  


They’re actually not talking about Han, but are instead talking about Wedge Antilles, who looks so damn good with that jaw line, but… Well, they know who Leia really likes.

“Seriously, Leia, no one is daring you to do it, primarily because we don’t want to see Han cry like a little girl about it, but if you were going to kiss him, you would have done it years ago,” Jyn says as she rolls her eyes, looking over at Shara.  


“Han? What does Han have to do with this?” Leia asks, and she looks at them with confusion, and it verges on adorable.  


“Han has everything to do with everything when it comes to you,” Shara says, and she reaches over, grabbing at some of Leia’s koyo fruit. Now that she’s pregnant, it seems to be the only thing she craves.  


“Yeah, well… kark off, Bey!” Leia retorts, and she slaps at the pregnant woman’s hand… then seems to think better of it, instead then pushing the bowl over. It’s not like she and Jyn didn’t both grab a bowl specifically for Shara to devour.  


“Not even denying it?” Jyn teases, glancing at Shara. “Sounds like someone might finally be accepting their fate. In love with a smuggler? Tsk tsk…”  


Leia sticks her tongue out at Jyn, who just laughs in response, then glances over towards the man and his friend. The two are bent over a cup of caff, with Han continually glancing their way from the other side of the mess hall. He won’t be able to hear their words at this distance, but he will hear the laughter, which means that he’s probably curious.

“Don’t look now, but Solo is glancing over here,” Shara says, which of course means Leia immediately turns and looks at him.  


Jyn bursts into laughter again, ducking down to try and hide it, and honestly, if teasing Leia wasn’t so much fun, she wouldn’t do it, but it was undeniable, the attraction there.

“Now, don’t go laughing too hard,” Shara says, and Jyn looks up to see that glow, that pregnancy glow, on the pilot’s face. “Look who just walked in with my Kes.”  


Jyn does glance over, the grin still on her lips, until she sees who actually is with him. Leia knows, of course, as does Shara, but that confession had come after too much alcohol the night that Shara had told them she was pregnant and Leia had admitted to missing her parents so bad everything hurt, and Cassian had been off planet. He hasn’t actually been on the base since then, and now…

Well, she had seen him when he landed last night, but that was very different from sitting beside the only two people that knew how she felt, watching him walk in.

“Shara!” Leia hisses, and Jyn glances down at her lap. It had been one thing, keeping it a secret to herself, but now that people knew… well, she knew she had to do something about it.  


“What? They’ve been floating around each other for two years, everyone knows how he feels about her  _except for her_ , and-”  


“What?”  


Jyn looks up at them both, and Leia is now glaring hard at the table, while Shara is trying to look around for something to do with her hands, finally grabbing the bowl of fruit and shoving them in her mouth.

She waits for them to say something, and then Leia finally spits it out.

“Alright, fine, I karking like the nerf herder. And yes, I would kiss Antilles, but it would be like kissing a brother, so no thanks.”  


Jyn is still trying to process what Shara said, and she takes a risk, grabbing the bowl from the woman, who looks like she has just been slapped from the loss.

“What? Oh, kark off, Jyn. Two years, you have held onto this. You told us for a reason, because you couldn’t keep it bottled up anymore. Just go over there, and kiss him. See what happens, I dare you!”  


Jyn is frozen for two seconds, because yeah, she had told them, and that had to mean something, her confessing something like this outloud, so why not… why not just… 

Kriff this. She’s going for it.

“Wait, Jyn, I was just-”  


Shara tries to stop her, grabbing at her arm, but Jyn sets the bowl down and climbs out of the chair, stalking around the table. Leia stands up, trying to stop her as well, but honestly, now that her mind is made up, nothing will stop her.

“Hi, Jyn, I see Shara is still-”  


Jyn shoves Kes aside, out of her way, and grabs the front of Cassian’s shirt. He looks horrified for all of two seconds at being grabbed, and then she kisses him. She kisses him hard, so hard it’s not even good, so he can’t even respond, and when she pulls away, his hands are out to either side, and he’s still frozen, staring at her.

“I like you,” she snaps at him, and he is still frozen.  


“Blink twice if you karking love her too,” Han yells, and Jyn would throw something at him, except-  


Cassian blinks twice.

And then his hands go around her waist, lifting her up, so her legs wrap around him, and he’s kissing her back.


	4. Exhausted Parents

Jyn has been in the rocking chair for so long, she’s pretty sure her backside has just completely molded into it. Her legs are numb, and she’s had to pee for the past hour, but the baby is finally asleep, and there’s no way in karking hell she’s getting up. She just rocks, and rocks, and rocks, eyes half closed, until the door opens.  


She looks down to see that her son is still asleep, eyes closed, and then she looks up, smiling to see her husband standing there, just back from work. He looks exhausted, and he shrugs out of his ceremonial robes. Her husband, the Senator. Who would have thought that a spy would make such a good public face.

He’s quiet as he slips forward, his boots being kicked off along the way, and in seconds, he’s on his knees beside her, his lips pressing to their son’s head. His arms go to slide underneath, to take him, but Jyn shakes her head. She would never normally keep the boy from his father, but-

“Teething,” she whispers, and Cassian suddenly gives a nod. He seems to understand, that if she stops rocking, he’ll-  


She has paused just long enough for Cassian to steal a kiss that the child’s eyes open, and in seconds, the room is filled with tears.

The door opens again, and in walks Kay, former Security Droid that still thinks he is one, despite establishing himself as a Nanny Droid, day and night.

“I have retrieved the herbs you requested,” he says in his tinny voice, and it’s at a lower setting, one that will not disrupt the crying baby. “You will have your tea momentarily.”  


Jyn nods, letting out a groan, and Cassian reaches down, scooping up the baby. It’s too late to keep him asleep, so he might as well help. Jyn climbs up out of the chair, and waddles over towards the bathroom, her bladder aching for release.

One child teething, still at her breast, and another within her… how did she end up like this? Oh right, she listened to Leia for advice on being a parent. Somehow, her surgically repaired womb was more than ready for not one child, but a second one already.

Stumbling back out, she’s happy to see that Cassian is now in what she has labelled the chair of doom, rocking back and forth. She sways where she stands, one hand on her belly, and she smiles as Kay brings in the tea, a cup for her, and a rag for the baby, to place on his aching gums.

“Thank you, Kay,” Cassian says, and Kay grumbles about reprogramming - it’s cute, how often he forgets that he had fought with them to not hire a Nanny Droid, even though they had never even considered it.  


“I think that means Kay is tired,” Jyn teases, and Cassian nods, his head falling back against the chair as he takes the rag, pressing it to the front gums of the babe’s mouth.  


“Aren’t we all?” he asks.  


Taking a few steps forward, Jyn leans down, pressing her lips to his forehead. The chair pauses for a moment, then picks back up when their son begins to kick his legs, frustrated by the lack of movement.

“Go get some rest,” he insists, and she nods, too tired to argue.   


“Wake me when he needs to be fed?” she asks, and he shakes his head.  


“No, I’ll pull something out of the freezer. You need sleep-”  


“I’ll probably die if I don’t empty these things. He has been refusing to eat.”  


Cassian lets out a sigh, then looks down. The baby is asleep again, and he stands up from the chair. She wishes she could do that so effortlessly, but it takes both hands these days, which means if she sits down with the infant, she isn’t getting back up.

He’s swaying in place, and then makes his way over, his body swaying as he leans forward. “Sleep. I’ll bring him to you when he needs to eat.”

She nods, leaning towards him as well, and his lips press to her forehead. Her eyes close for a moment, and then she pulls away. She does need to sleep.

When Cassian climbs into bed an hour later, he presses their son to her breast, and then draws her in close, leaving another kiss on her lips, before he takes his turn to sleep.


	5. Jealous Kiss

Cassian has seen jealous in the Rebel Alliance. He has grown up in it, after all, has seen what happens when two men are attracted to the same woman, has even once or twice seen what happens when that woman turns out to like only other women. He has seen the fights, the bets, even the various dares undertaken, all because of jealous.

Never before has he fallen victim to it, but now… now, he knows jealousy. He knows that burning, the anger, the rage, the self-loathing…

And it’s directed at  _himself_.

He  _hates_  himself, because he’s  _jealous_  of himself… 

How that was possible, he wasn’t sure, until he wakes up and looks beside him, sees Jyn laying there, naked, and he’s… he’s jealous of  _himself_.

He’s jealous of  _drunk_  Cassian, because  _drunk_  Cassian says all of the right words, dances with Jyn, pulls her close, tells her all the things that  _sober_  Cassian can’t.  _Drunk_  Cassian gets to bring Jyn back to his room, gets to peal her out of her clothing and enjoy touching her, kissing her.

_Sober_ Cassian?  _Sober_  Cassian gets the water and the pain killers and the caff, and gruffly says he’ll see her later.  _Sober_  Cassian fights by her side, sits across from her in the mess and chats like nothing is wrong, works with her every day.

_Sober_  Cassian has to look at Jyn and pretend like he doesn’t know what she looks like, what she tastes like.  _Sober_  Cassian never even gets a glance… and then she invites him to the Cantina, and he…

He always goes, because  _drunk_  Cassian wants to see her again, and he hates himself enough to give in, every time. And then he drinks, and drinks, until he’s able to approach her.

She  _likes_  him drunk, kisses him, confesses things he can’t remember… and then he’s sober, and it’s like nothing had happened the night before.

Jealousy. He jealous of himself.

“You coming to the Cantina tonight?” she asks over dinner, and he looks up from his tray, giving a nod.

“Of course. See you there?”  


She gives him a nod, and he looks back down at his tray.

Something has to change.  _Something_  has to change. He just doesn’t know what.

Waking up the next morning, Cassian looks beside him, sees Jyn there. She’s there, just like she is every morning after they go to the Cantina, and he hates himself. It’s not fair. It’s not… it’s not right. Well, it is right, because neither of them drink enough that they’re not fully aware of what’s going on. They both fully remember the night before, fully consent, but…

They’re drunk enough to relax, to let down their walls, to let the other in. And now, it’s the morning after, and he… he’s just looking at her. She’s beautiful, laying in his bed, and he just wants to kiss her.

He wants to kiss her so badly it hurts.

He has to get up, he has to leave the bed. He has to shower, and get caff, and then they can pretend this never happened… except this morning, when he goes to get out of the bed, her arm goes back around him, pulling closer, and he…

He’s a weak man. He’s weak, laying in the bed beside her, and he pulls her closer. He’s just about to press his lips to her forehead when her eyes open, and he - he freezes.

He waits for her to pull away, to say something, but instead, she sucks in a breath, and then-

He knows better. He knows that they can only do this when drunk. He knows that she probably doesn’t feel the same. He knows that he can still taste her on his lips, but it’s not enough. Stolen nights can never be enough.

He kisses her, kisses her because he’s fucking jealous, because he fucking loves her, because he can’t fucking get the image of her moaning his name out of his mind, will never be able to drink away the memory of being able to touch her.

He kisses her even though he knows he shouldn’t - and then she kisses him back.

They half roll on the bed, Jyn flat onto her back, Cassian hovering over her, and when her hand goes to his face, her fingers go to the back of his head, almost cradling, pulling him closer. He kisses her harder, his hips rocking against her leg, and when he pulls away, suddenly, his eyes are wide.

“Can I do that?” he asks, and she blinks at him, confusion on her face.  


“Do what?” she asks, and she’s starting to smile a little, amused with him.  


“Can I kiss you?”  


Her brow wrinkles, and he’s looking down at her, waiting for an answer, just something, when she bursts into laughter. He doesn’t get it until she finally chokes out an answer.

“Can you - Cassian, we’re  _dating_. Of course you can  _kiss_  me.”  


He’s so confused, he doesn’t even know how to respond, but he pushes himself up on the bed, staring at her.

“Dating? Wait, we’re-”  


“Are we not? You bring me caff in bed, we eat our meals together, we save each other’s lives on a regular basis -  _we go out to the Cantina every other night together_.”  


He stares at her for the longest of time, then lets out a groan. He’s a karking fool - yeah, they were dating.

“I’m an idiot,” he mutters, and Jyn shifts a little under him, almost like she’s embarrassed.   


“Are we… are we not?”  


Her voice is so small, and he looks up at her, shaking his head, then kisses her forehead softly.

“I was jealous of drunk me. Drunk me is the only one brave enough to kiss you. Can we just… pretend I’m not a karking idiot?”  


She smiles up at him and gives a nod - then kisses him again.


	6. Giggly Kiss

Cassian Andor is a good man. Okay, that might be a bit of a stretch, but whatever he has done in this life, whatever he did in his last life, whatever he will do in his next life, he certainly doesn’t deserve this.  


“Jyn, I can’t-”  


“You can!” she says, and she turns, pointing a finger at him.   


He doesn’t fear a lot in his life, but Jyn pointing a finger at him like it’s a blaster, or worse, a truncheon… he might be a little afraid… and a little turned on.

They’re standing on the edge of a cliff, water underneath them, and yeah, he’s afraid. If this were a mission, and it was  _be taken by troopers_  or  _jump off the cliff into possible death_ , he would jump without a pause, but this? Doing it for fun?

He suddenly might have a fear of heights.

“Jyn, I can’t-”  


“Bodhi jumped! Luke jumped! Leia jumped! Shara jumped! Even Kes, who’s afraid that the cleaner droids might actually polish his boots, jumped! Everyone has jumped except for us.”  


He gets that, understands that, can hear them all laughing and splashing below, but…

“Take my hand.”  


He does it without thinking, grabs her hand and clings to it, and she pulls him close, so their noses almost touch. He can feel her legs, her feet, their bodies pressing together, and he opens his eyes, suddenly, realizing he had shut them. She’s looking right at him, concern in her eyes, and he gulps.

“If you really don’t want to jump, then we’ll walk down the way we came up, and get in down there, okay?”  


He nods, and then looks over the edge, hand tightening on hers. He can do this. He  _knows_  he can do this. In truth, he’s not even sure why he’s afraid.

He doesn’t let go of her hand, doesn’t think, just takes the two steps and jumps over the edge, pulling Jyn with him. Fear passes through him, and then exhilliration, and then - 

They hit the water with a splash, the icy cold running through him, and he holds on, doesn’t let go as they both kick their legs, pushing their way back up to the surface.

They break the water together, obviously, and then he looks at her, grinning. Jyn looks at him, eyes wide, and then they burst into laughter together.

“Not afraid anymore?” she asks, and he shakes his head, kicking his legs to move closer to her. He can’t really grab at her and hold her close, the two of them actively having to work to keep themselves afloat, but their noses brush, both of them still smiling.  


“No, that was…”  


She gives him a kiss, a quick peck, and he pecks her back. It’s small, and this is still new, but she tastes good, tastes like-

“Can you two quit making out already?” comes a call from near the shore, and they look to see Han, who was definitely too chicken shit to jump in. Whether it was because that meant stripping down to his underlayers or he was afraid of the water, no one was sure, but he had claimed he couldn’t leave Chewie behind, who refused to get in because  _his fur was already clean_.  


“Kark you, Solo!” Jyn called, and Cassian nods, because yeah, that sounds right.  


His lips brush against her temple, and Jyn turns her head back towards him, their legs brushing under the water. He kisses her again and she giggles, giggles against his lips, causing Cassian to laugh as well.

No fear. Only exhilaration.

“Wanna go again?”

Okay, maybe a little fear.


	7. Returned from the Dead

Cassian had seen the thermal detonator fly through the air, but there wasn’t enough time to do anything but scream as it landed in the same foxhole that Jyn was in. Scream, as he watches the explosion of dirt and sand and blood and  _bodies_. One of the pathfinders, a kid practically, was now half slumped out of the hole, and the stormtrooper that had thrown it proceeded forward, reaching for another.

He’s frozen, now, staring at the spot that Jyn had moved forward and disappeared into just two minutes earlier, and he realizes, in horror, that Jyn was now dead.

A few seconds too late, Baze unloads his repeater cannon into the trooper, dropping him before he can throw a grenade into their hole, and then Cassian surges forward, out of the protection they’ve burrowed themselves into it, and into the battle itself. He’s supposed to linger back, supposed to stay connected to the comm unit on Bodhi’s back, talking to the squadron in the air, but he can’t stay, not when Jyn, his Jyn-

His body hits the ground hard, just as a blaster shot goes by his shoulder, and he looks back to see that Chirrut has grabbed him with his staff, just his ankle, to make him fall forward. Right, running forward in open fire, not the best - but Jyn is, Jyn might be -

He slides down into the hole, and he tries to not look at the other bodies. They’re all dead, too much blood, too much, too-

“Cassian?”  


It comes out in a breath, and he looks towards the sound, can see a body, and it isn’t Jyn’s, but underneath, hidden in the explosion of dirt, there’s a person, and it’s  _her_  voice.

He crawls over towards her, and he will apologize later to the spirits of those he pushed out of the way, but he has to get to her. His hands go over her body, abdomen, hands, feet, and there’s no injuries, nothing that will kill, nothing that will keep her from running, and then her face. Her face is covered in dirt and dust, and her eyes are wild, and he knows what it is.

She’s in shock, still in shock.

“Cassian?”  


This time, it comes out loud, so loud, yelling. Her ears, they must still be ringing from the explosion, and he nods, tearing at the bottom of his shirt, flipping it over to wipe her face.

“I’m here!” he yells back, and she nods, nods as he pulls out his water bottle, and he presses it to her lips, making her drink.  


She’s alive, she’s alive,  _she’s alive_ , and he can’t believe - his lips press to her forehead, and he ignores the dirt, the dust, kisses her nose, her cheeks, her eyelids, and then her lips. She kisses him back, her fingers digging into his shirt, keeping him close, and they spend the moment holding one another, before he remembers where they were, remembers the loss in this small space, and remembers that they have to get out of there.

“Come on, we have to fall back,” he says, and Jyn nods, because even though she can’t hear that well, she understands his body language, and grabs at his hands.  


“Are you with me?” she yells, and he gives her a nod, thanking the Force for her life.  


“All the way.”


	8. Returned from the Dead ( Double Angst )

He comes down off the ship, jacket still snug around his body, when he sees Bodhi. It’s normally Jyn that greets him, always Jyn, except when she’s on a mission, which isn’t that surprising, given that the Pathfinders seem to always be on the go. He had wanted to see her, of course, had missed her, but Jyn being away… he had waited a month to see her. He could wait a few more days until she returned.

Bodhi’s face, though, it says something else. A bubble of fear settles into the pit of Cassian’s stomach, and he realizes he might be waiting a bit longer than that.

He wants to turn and run, return to his ship, because on his ship, Jyn had been waiting for him just outside, and he was going to once again try to work up the courage to tell her how he felt, and now… now everything is in turmoil.

“Bodhi…” he says, and the pilot doesn’t even look at him, just down at his hands, where he’s pulling on a rag, one he had just been using.  


“Cassian, it’s Jyn, she-”  


The way that Bodhi’s shoulders are shifted forward, how his face is scrunched up, how he’s unable to talk… it says it all. Others in the hanger, they’re looking at him, looking at him with pity, with sorrow, with…

General Draven steps into the hanger, and there’s a datapad in his hand. His face looks older, the sorrow obvious, like he carries the weight of the world… it dawns on Cassian, then, what has happened.

When he reads the top of the datapad, Cassian just gives a nod, and shrugs off any explanation. It’s the mission report, the briefing, the comm logs, the overhead view from the patrol that went to find them…

Jyn’s squadron had left on a mission, and never come back.

* * *

Everything blurs together after that.

Cassian only has three truths.

1\. Jyn left Hoth, and she, nor any of her team, came back.

2\. Their bodies were never found, only those of the troopers.

3\. He’s in love with her, which means nothing else matters but finding out what happened to her.

* * *

Cassian has read the mission reported, plotted out the course, and listened to all of the comm logs, analyzing, breaking down each line… he wants to know what went wrong, what happened. On the ground, the only bodies that had been left were those of stormtroopers. There were no bodies of any rebels.

When Cassian finally lands on the planet, he is suddenly disappointed. Some absurd part of himself had hoped that he would land, and Jyn would miraculously be there, a smile on her face, laughing at how he thought she was dead. He knows that command is worried about him, worried that he’s chasing a wild tooka for answers, but they want to know as much as he does what happened.

The report from the pilots was correct - there’s the armor of stormtroopers, with rotting bodies within, and he puts the rebreather over his mouth, trying to keep the stench out. There are no other bodies, no rebels, no nothing.

He comes across the cargo shuttle that the pathfinders had used to land, and it’s just as the comm logs said - the engine was blown. He follows what he heard, and when he looks around, he can see the marks of a battle here, finds pieces of gear strewn about, follows the trail of bodies, until he finds a clearing. There’s a pile of bodies here, now, all of them troopers, and a few pilots, but…

“There’s no ship,” Cassian says, and he turns back to look at Kay, who had come with him, and Shara Bey, who still had red rimmed eyes.  


“There’s no ship. Were you expecting one?” Kay hasn’t been snarky the whole trip, not even now… instead, he’s trying to see what Cassian is seeing that he isn’t.  


Shara hadn’t cried the whole time, but there was unshed tears in her eyes, and occasionally, he would catch her bottom lip shaking, her fingers twirling the ring around her finger. Her eyes dart around, and they linger on the bodies.

“There’s pilots… but no ship.”  


Her eyes connect with Cassians, and there’s a grin on her face… and a grin on his as well.

“Are you insinuating that Jyn Erso stole another transport ship?”  


Cassian laughs, turning around in place as he looks up at the sky, looking up towards where Jyn had hopefully escaped.

“They don’t have hyperdrives… they’re out there, Shara.”  


Her hand is on her stomach when Cassian turns back around, and he gives the woman a nod. The look they share… the people they love are still alive out there. Now, they just have to wait for them to cross the galaxy without a hyperdrive.

* * *

Kay already has the calculations done before they even get back to their ship, and Cassian sends the coded message to Draven - Jyn’s team was still alive, on a stolen transport ship, and probably couldn’t patch into Alliance comms to get the message across. They would be tired, hungry, and injured, had been traveling for two weeks already, and barring any complications, should be arriving in the next day or so, perhaps even before Cassian made it back.

It’s the longest flight of his life, trying to race back across, and he wonders if they’re passing them, passing the transport, wonders if it perhaps got grabbed along the way, wonders if Jyn is even alive on the ship…

He has to have hope. It’s the only thing he has anymore. He has to have hope, because Shara doesn’t. He has to have hope, because Shara had confessed that she was pregnant, and that she had known something was wrong with Kes before he had even left, because Shara is still crying, because they could be captured, Kes could be dead or injured on the transport, could be - 

And then she had turned violent, talking about tracing the route away from Hoth if they got there and Kes wasn’t there, so that she could track down and murder whoever had, in her mind, stopped Kes from getting back to her.

He could deal with the anger, but a pregnant woman ready to take on the Empire? It was a long ride.

A long ride that had a long landing, because when they touched down…

“Tell me what you saw,” the General says, and Cassian details it all, had written a report on the flight back, how the pilots were dead, how there was no shuttle left, how it had to be a short range transport. The numbers had told the facts - either Jyn would already be there by the time he landed, or would be there soon.  


“There were no rebel bodies left behind,” Cassian concludes, and Draven gives a final nod as they enter the command center.  


“Before we lost contact, there had been no word about rebel losses. Perhaps there were none. We have seen crazier things from Lieutenant Erso’s platoon.”  


Cassian knows that to be true, given the fact that Kay’s current shell had been brought back by Jyn on one of her missions, but still…

“Or, they could have been captured on the journey here.”  


Draven nods, then claps Cassian on the back. “Rest, Major. You can’t do anything until they land. We have our X-Wings on patrol, keeping an eye out. If the only thing to enter atmo is a transport, we won’t shoot them down.”

He gives a grateful nod in response, but Cassian knows he won’t sleep. Instead, he joins Shara Bey in the hanger, covering them both with blankets, and they sit and wait for the person they love to return.

* * *

“Cassian.”  


There’s someone shaking at his shoulder, and he blinks a few times, opening his eyes to see Shara. He blinks a few more, eyes flicking around the hanger, when he sees the door opening, and a squadron of pathfinders filing out to surround a landing pad.

“Cassian, an Imperial Transport was spotted. It’s landing now.”  


He jerks awake at that, and when the doors are open just enough, the shuttle lands. He can see the pilot, recognizes the faces, and when the door open - every blaster is pointed, and Kes Dameron sticks his face out. There’s a bandage across his temple, and his arm is in a sling, but-

“Kes!” Shara yells, and she darts through the ring of pathfinders. In seconds, the blasters pointed at the ship drop, and rebels began piling out.  


Cassian looks, he looks for Jyn, but he doesn’t see her. Probably one of the last on board, if she wasn’t the first, and it’s the injured coming out, and then the few without injuries, and then-

He grabs the shirt of one of the young privates, tugging him close, eyes wild. “Lieutenant Erso. Where is she?”

The kid looks scared, and looks back onto the ship.

“Major, she’s with the dead.”  


* * *

Cassian’s world falls apart as he climbs up the ramp and into the cargo hold. They had stolen a ship much like this from Eadu, had used it on Scarif, and stolen another like it to disappear. He knows how many layers there are, and he goes down, because where else would they keep the bodies other than the underneath hold? Each body is wrapped, wrapped up tight, and he turns, turns and sees-

She’s sitting beside a body, eyes closed, but he thinks he can see her lips moving, and he nearly cries out as he goes to her.

“Jyn, are you-”  


Her eyes flash open, and he falls to his knees in front of her, looking her over. “Jyn, they said you were missing, with the dead, with-”

“I promised him I would get him home,” she whispers, and he looks to see that she’s holding the hand of the only body that isn’t wrapped up. There’s blood, and empty bacta containers, and she shakes her head. “He almost made it. We entered atmo, and he just…”  


He nods, reaching over and covering their hands, and there’s still warmth in the body, but it’s already growing stiff. He’s careful, to take her fingers off, and then to set it down on the boy’s chest. He looks to be more child than man, and he looks back at Jyn, tears in his eyes.

“I thought I lost you,” he breathes out, and she shakes her head, looking like she’s trying to smile… but instead, there are tears.  


“Cassian, I’m so tired,” she confesses, and he nods, because he’s tired as well, because this war is killing them, because-  


“Shara Bey is pregnant,” he tells her, and Jyn’s eyes open at that. “Can you believe it? Kes is going to be a father.”  


It’s the stupidest thing he can say, probably, but it’s the only thing that comes to mind. Jyn immediately smiles in response, and Cassian grins at her, because maybe distractions… He just doesn’t know what else to say.

“He would make a good father,” she says with a giggle, and he nods a little, because yeah, even though Kes was a little crazy, they were the perfect little family. “So would you.”  


Cassian doesn’t know what to say to that, just nods, nods for a moment, and then tugs her forward, tugs her into his arms. She sinks onto her knees, one leg between his, and they sort of mesh themselves together, his arms tight around her, her face pressed into his neck.

“Never scare me like that again,” he half begs, and when she pulls back to say something, his lips press to her forehead, her nose, to her lips, and then back up to her forehead. She doesn’t respond, but he tugs her back into his arms. “Never. Promise me?”  


She nods, and he tightens his hold for just a moment before pulling back. There’s a dazed look in her eyes, and he gives another nod, then glances to the boy she was sitting beside.

“Come on, Jyn. We need to-”  


“We need to carry them off,” she says, and he gives a nod, because yeah, that’s what he was thinking. “I refuse to leave anyone behind. Ever since…”  


They had left everyone behind on Scarif, save for a few… 

“We’ll do it together,” he says, and she gives another nod. They stand together, fingers interlocking, and she looks down at the boy.  


“I don’t want to raise a child to die in a war,” she whispers, and he gives another nod, tightening his hold.  


“Then we better be sure to end it the first time, and end it properly.”  


She nods back, licking her lips, then looks to him. 

“I never want to leave you again.”  


There’s a time and place for everything, and this time, this place isn’t it, so he just gives her one last nod, with a deep breath.

“Then you won’t.”  


They get to work, together.


	9. Spin the Bottle

This whole thing is rigged, Jyn is convinced of it. It’s either that, or else Chirrut and Luke are doing some sort of Force thing, because slowly but surely, every single couple, or near couple, has had the bottle land perfectly for them.

First, it was Baze and Chirrut, the former who wasn’t even playing, it the bottle very clearly landed between Bodhi and Cassian, straight at Baze, who was sitting on a crate. Chirrut had quickly collected his kiss, then remained sitting by his husband. The man then began calling out partners before the bottle has even stopped-

It’s a Force thing, it’s definitely a Force thing, which means that Jyn is beyond fucked.

Luke and Bodhi kiss, Shara and Kes kiss, and then Shara and Leia kiss in a fit of giggles that has both Kes and Han hooting. No one lands on Cassian. No one lands on Jyn. They’re sitting perfectly across from one another, and as various members grab the bottle, more and more kisses are shared.

Alcohol gets passed around, and the bottle in the middle gets swapped out for another. There’s more laughter, more kisses, and when the kiss between Han and Luke gets a little heated, Chirrut has to call the game to a close, just to save Bodhi, who looks like he’s so jealous, he might cry.

Jyn almost wants to comfort him, until she sees Luke reach over and grab his hand, asking him if he wants to talk about some new ships coming in, and Bodhi fumbles over himself to follow.

There’s no new ships, but they don’t seem to care.

It turns out, she’s free and clear. Her lips have been untouched, and when everyone else scampers off, most of them pairing off to enjoy what’s left of their free day…

Jyn picks up some of the bottles, dumping them into an empty crate. They’ll go off to be washed, likely, and be filled with more illegal hooch, but that’s not her concern, just removing them from being broken.

“One more,” Cassian says, and she turns around in time just to see him accidentally knock it over. It spins a few times, rolling out of his grasp, and when it comes to a stop, it has spun around, pointing right at Jyn.  


They both freeze, and then she goes to grab it, because it means nothing, because it-

“You didn’t kiss anyone,” Cassian says suddenly, and she pauses, almost ready to bend down and grab it, then looks up at him. He’s staring right at her, staring at her lips, even, and she gives a nod. “The bottle never landed on you.”  


“It didn’t land on you either,” she says, and she knows it means something, that they both watched the other, that they both saw that the other was never kissed, but…  


“You should be kissed,” he says, and Jyn doesn’t even know how to respond, just swallows, watching as he walks over. There’s a swagger in his steps, and she knows it’s the alcohol, but he didn’t drink enough to be drunk… just relaxed enough to be a combination of sleepy and calm. “You should be kissed, and often, by someone that appreciates you, that knows how to kiss a woman like you.”

She sucks in a breath, then lifts her chin, ready to turn away, to-

“And I suppose you know how?” she asks, and he shakes his head no, a grin on his lips.  


She deflates, thinking she might have misunderstood, but-

“Force, no. There’s no one like you in the galaxy, but I would love to learn how… to kiss you, I mean.”  


The bottle is right there between them, and he had spun it, even if accidentally. Her lips press together for a moment, and she bends down, then, picks it up, and tosses it into the crate a few steps away. It lands home, but she doesn’t look at it, her eyes still on Cassian.

“Then you should probably have your first lesson.”  


She doesn’t know what she’s doing, doesn’t even know what he means, but his hands slide around her waist, pulling her closer. In seconds, his lips are pressing to hers, and she’s glad she’s still in her boots because she only has to tilt her face upwards, doesn’t have to go onto tiptoes to reach. Her hands wrap around his neck, fingers going into his collar, and when he deepens the kiss, she goes with it, until he finally pulls away, forehead pressing to hers.

“I’ve been thinking about doing that all night,” he whispers, and she nods, because yeah, she gets that. “I was ready to punch the first person that landed on you. I knew I couldn’t just let you leave here without me being your last kiss.”  


She nods again, because yeah, yeah that sounds… that sounds great.

“Come back to my room,” she breathes out, and he freezes. “I don’t care if we just talk, whatever, just - I  _need_  to touch you.”  


His hands trail up her back, pulling her closer, and she kisses him again.

She kisses him every step of the way back to her room, and when the door slams shut, there’s no more talking.


	10. Forbidden kiss + Passionate kiss + In Secret kiss + Against a wall kiss

They hit the hyperdrive, and Cassian stands there, waiting for something to happen, waiting for the Alliance to chase after them, for a message to come in, for someone to turn and say that this isn’t really happening… except, he’s standing there in the cockpit beside Jyn, there’s a cargo hold filled with Rebels that he just recruited, and he just disobeyed direct orders, leading a team to Scarif, to their death, to defy the Empire, all the words of one woman.

One woman, who terrifies him, who amazes him, who inspires him and leaves him in awe. He has broken order after order, put himself in harms way, acted impulsively, placed his trust in her, he has - 

He  _trusts_  her, and it’s horrifying and unbelievable, and as he stands there looking at her, he’s at a loss for words, until it comes crashing into him. 

Jyn Erso, the woman that stands to defy an Empire, that stands against the Rebels that are too weak to act, the woman that seeks to finish her father’s work… she’s the strongest person in the galaxy, the bravest, the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.

He’s in love, he’s so in fucking love with her that he can feel his heart pounding in his stomach, and it makes him want to puke, because she’s leading him to his death, leading them all to their deaths on a completely insane mission, but they have to act, and he’s  _grateful_  to her, because with her, he will find salvation, forgiveness, he’ll-

He’s in love with her, and if he’s going to die, he’s going to die without any regrets.

He should probably ask before touching her, but he reaches out before he thinks about it, touches the inside of her forearm, drawing her attention. She says nothing from where she stands behind Bodhi’s seat, and he jerks his head back towards the small room at the back of the cockpit. He had inspected it when they first stole this ship, a small room for napping in and not much more, but it will do for a private conversation.

She gives a nod, her gaze flicking back towards the space they’re flying through, and then she turns, walking past him and towards the shut door. He’s a half step behind, and when she opens it, he catches the door, closing it behind them quietly. He doesn’t need anyone else to ask, to know that they disappeared… what he has to say to her, it involves no one else. 

Jyn walks all the way into the room, which doesn’t give them more than two steps between them, but she leans back against the wall, her hands on her hips. She looks like she’s ready fight a war, which is more or less what they’re doing, and he knows they need to plan out what they’re going to do, knows they need to make a plan, because once they land, they’ll be short on time… but he has something to say first, and she seems to know that, because she’s waiting, listening.

“Jyn, I have to tell you something,” he says, and he doesn’t know how to get out the words, but suddenly, her face is falling, and she looks… upset. Why would she look upset?  


“Cassian, you don’t have to tell me anything. What happened, what happened on Eadu, after, and-”  


She thinks this is about her father, and yeah, he has apologies to make, sort of, but not really. He was doing his duty, was following orders, and broken them for her. Galen Erso’s fate was sealed long before they landed on that planet… he won’t rehash out things they’ve already fought about.

“No, it’s not about that-”  


“You don’t have to say anything,” she says, and she takes a step forward, her eyes looking up at him, up into his soul. “Cassian… you don’t have to explain anything to me.”  


He thinks, were it anyone else, that that would mean he didn’t owe them an explanation… or that they didn’t care for one. Looking at her now, though, Cassian realizes that she understands him. He doesn’t have to explain, because she already gets it. Anything he could try to apologize for, any debt he owes her… she already knows. She knows him, knows his pain, heard his confession out there…

There’s only one thing he’s keeping from her, and he plans to tell her now.

“Then there’s something I need to show you.”  


The words are past his lips before he can think it through, and she takes in a breath, then gives a nod, her hands shifting from her hips to hang loosely at her sides. He can see her hand hovering over where her blaster is, but it’s not like she’s going for it… more like, she doesn’t know what to do with herself, like she feels out of her element.

Cassian feels much the same, and that gives him encouragement, the idea that she feels just as exposed, as vulnerable as he does.

Taking in a deep breath, he steps forward, two steps until he’s practically hovering over her, and it reminds him of just a few hours ago, before they had left Base, when he had lingered so close, he could smell she had had a shower before the meeting, and now, he can smell the leather of the holster, the oil from cleaning the blaster. He looks down at her for the longest time, and she looks up at him, and she-

She doesn’t pull away. He enters her space, and she doesn’t pull away.

His lips press to hers, and he’s ready for her to push him back, but instead, she pushes in, pushes against him with her kiss, and he folds immediately. His hands go to her waist as he half stumbles back, but she comes with him, moves with him until his back hits the wall, and he’s surprised that she’s with him, that she’s still kissing him, but he goes with it all the same.

Her lips pull away from his just as he goes to part his mouth, to kiss her deeper, and her eyes are wide, breath coming in and out hard. He searches her face for some explanation, but he doesn’t know what her question is, doesn’t even know what she wants from him. 

All he had wanted was to kiss her, to kiss her just once, to tell her how he felt, and she had kissed him back - she let him kiss her, and she kissed him back, and that means something, that has to mean something, but he isn’t sure what, and now she’s just looking at him, reading him, and he doesn’t know what to say, what to do.

“What does this mean?” she asks, and he doesn’t have an answer, not unless he tells her how he feels, but suddenly, he’s scared… he’s scared to use those precious words. They’ve never passed his lips, and he’s  _scared_  now to say them.  


“Trust goes both ways,” he says, and he’s copying her words, but with them, he’s telling her that he trusts her. “This means that I’m with you, until the end. That you are… that you are home.”  


She looks almost stricken, like he had slapped her, rather than confessing his feelings, and she shakes her head twice, lips pressing together as she swallows.

“We’re going to die. You know that, right? Most of us are going to die - if we’re lucky, Bodhi will get back with the plans, but-”  


“Then I’m dying with no regrets,” he confesses, and he pushes off from the wall, his hand going to her face, to cradle her cheek, some of her hair coming loose from the bun. “It means that I’m going to die, making sure you get off that planet, that you completed the mission.”  


“I’m not leaving you behind,” she says, and he shakes his head, smiling sadly.  


“You’re going to live. I’m going to make sure that you live.”  


“Only if you come with me…”  


Their hands are pulling at each others clothes, her vest coming off her frame, his shirt tugging out of his pants, and when he presses her to the door, he forgets to be quiet, forgets to silence her moans. They can probably hear them on the other side of the door, but then she kisses him again, her fingers tangle in the hair on the back of his head, and he can’t remember to care.

He knows he shouldn’t do this, knows he should be planning the assault, knows he should be talking to their team, but he can’t pull himself from her. His hands dip lower, into the back of her pants, and she tilts her head up, exposing her throat as one leg goes around his waist. 

He spends his last few hours pressed against her, between her legs, her taste on his tongue, her fingers in his hair, and he promises to her, vows between kisses, that he will always be with her.

* * *

It’s beautiful, in an eerie way, how the Death Star sends a beam of energy, enough to destroy a planet, and it touches down across the ocean. The waves are still falling onto the beach, and he can see it, the wave of power heading their way, but he isn’t afraid. He isn’t afraid as he holds her hand, as he feels the peace hit him.

“You can still run,” he tells her, and he finally looks at Jyn, standing beside him.  


She gives a shrug, a half smile on her lips as she looks away from the view before them, looks to him. “I told you - together, or not at all.”

He gives a nod, then glances back over his shoulder. So many died, so many sacrificed… but the plans were sent. He knows that, believes that… they didn’t die in vain.

“You’re going to be stuck with me for all eternity, then,” he says, and she laughs, she laughs and it’s the most beautiful thing in the world.  


“Jyn, I-”  


“Can you two hurry up already?” 

Melshi is standing there at the bottom of the shuttle, and it’s ready to take off, the last of the wounded loaded onto their escape ship, and Jyn gives a nod. They have more time than they did on Jedha, but there’s no point in pushing it to the edge.

“We’ll face it together,” she says, and yeah, he likes the sound of that.  


“Are you with me?” he asks, and he’s taking a half step towards the shuttle, the bacta patch on his injury only doing so much to soothe the pain.  


“All the way.”


	11. In Secret

_ “No one can know.” _

They had said it at the same time, had both understood what it meant - it wasn’t that they were embarrassed, nor that they even just wanted it to be a secret… they just were not in the mood with having anyone and everyone know about it. The rumors, the politics, the  _betting_ … 

The first kiss had been that they were  _both_  tired of it, just wanted to kiss, to prove to each other there was nothing… except that they were  _both_  harboring a heavy crush, and that first kiss had just proven how perfect they were for one another. They both gave, and gave, and gave, and they both received. There was no taking, no stealing, no giving up so much there was nothing left.

Every touch, every kiss, every breath, it fueled them, renewed them.

They had to keep this a secret, because…

Bodhi would start screaming about them having sex on the ship, and Chirrut would be giving relationship advice, and Baze would just glare even more than he already did, and with everyone else, there would be rude comments, or exchanging of credits, or…

It had to be a secret.

It is a secret.

It has been a secret for four months.

Four karking months.

“This has to be a secret,” Jyn gasps, and his mouth is at her throat, her legs around his waist. They’re trying to be quiet, to stay quiet, but they’re both losing. They haven’t seen each other in weeks, and they had both managed to keep a poker face while they were apart, but as soon as they were alone.  


“It is, it is,” he swears, and he kisses her again, low and slow, their bodies rocking together. They won’t have long - he has to give a debrief, and she has training, and then tonight, everyone will want to welcome him back, and then…  


“Fuck, fuck them, just stay here,” she demands, and he kisses her harder, his hands digging into her hips, and her fingers, they’re lost in his hair, tugging at the long strands. He’ll have to cut it, but she likes it like this, likes him, likes-  


“And what do we have here?”  


They both turn, seeing one Han Solo standing there, looking karking pleased with himself. “What did I tell you? Three weeks apart, and they can’t keep their emotions in check any longer.”

A whole group piles in after Han, and Jyn and Cassian exchange a look.

“This… you don’t win the bet.”  


It’s Jyn that’s able to get the words out, and Han blinks, then groans. 

“Dammit, how long have you two been going at it?”  


Cassian grins, because he knows as well as Jyn does just what the bets are…

“You remember that night you thought we went to bed, and you all made bets?”  


Baze starts laughing in the background, and everyone turns to start handing him credits.

“I told you all - they were going to hook up before you lot finished deciding who was betting what.”  


Jyn grins at the older man, then looks back at Cassian.

“I still have to go to that briefing,” he murmurs, and Jyn gives a shrug.  


“You can be a few minutes late. We’ll blame it on the crowd.”  


They crowd clears out quickly when they start kissing again, and they can hear Baze laughing still, thanking them through the door for making him a rich man.


	12. Accidentally Witnessed

Jyn hates being in the medical wing, but it seems like it’s their favorite place to be. Without fail, every few weeks, either she or Cassian end up in one of these beds… they should honestly just make the bed officially their’s at this point. Neither liked medical, and both were more than proficient at clearing up their own injuries, but since Scarif… well, not everything can ever fully be healed.

It’s okay, though. She hates it, hates that either of them are injured, hates the smell of bacta, the beeping of the machines, the way that the med-droids rolled around and casually announced statistics and data like they weren’t attached to a life, but being in medical means…

Well, as Chirrut pointed out, being in medical means you’re not in the morgue, not turned into stardust out in the vastness of space, or worst of all, not left behind on a battlefield. Being in medical means you’re still breathing, still fighting, and when Cassian opens his eyes.

“Hey, you,” she says softly. It’s late at night on this planet, the base in a lull, and the lights all dimmed, but she’s wide awake, fueled by stems still from the race back to base. 

She could fly, was good at it, but something about being the one to pilot them back was terrifying. Cassian should always be the pilot, Kay should always be the co-pilot, but Cassian had been bleeding out, and Kay was keeping him alive better than Jyn could. The stems had kept her awake, functioning, paying attention… they’ll fade, soon, and she’ll let the fade lull her to sleep, now that he’s awake.  


“Hey,” he whispers back, and his voice is rough, a product of having a tube shoved down his throat. He chokes a little, and she reaches for the cup of water that was left, raising it to his lips. He sips at it, and she smiles, smiles as he gives a nod, and she sets it back down.  


“You look like bantha-shit,” she says honestly, and he grins.  


“Everything still work?” he asks, and she laughs.  


Yeah, everything still worked.

“You want to test it out?” she asks, and she shifts from the chair beside his bed up onto the bed itself, straddling his hips. If the injury was anything other than his shoulder, his old shoulder that still suffered from Krennic’s blast, she might not do this, but… “Make sure everything is still attached?”  


She’s teasing him, of course, and Cassian knows that, but his good hand goes to her waist, slides down her ass, and tugs her forward, rocking her core against him, and yes,  _yes_ , everything is definitely still working down there.

“Think we can go without making the machines-”  


It’s too late. The monitor beside the bed spikes to life, beeping louder, faster, and Jyn laughs, leaning forward and pressing her face into Cassian’s good shoulder. He laughs with her, because yeah, everything works, and his heart is racing to catch up.

She needs to get off of him before she’s fussed at, but Cassian doesn’t let go, not yet, instead rocking her hips with his hand, and they both let out a hiss. They have maybe seconds before a doc or a droid or  _worse_  walks through that door, ready to see what caused his heartrate to pick up, but instead-

His lips press to hers, hard, and she knows what this is, a test to make sure they’re still alive, that they’re still fighting. Jyn kisses him back, her fingers running into his hair, and he’ll want to wash it soon, but he tastes good, tastes like life, and that’s good enough for her.

A cough comes at the door, and Jyn glances over her shoulder, sees the doc standing there, with General Draven two steps behind. Neither is kind enough to even pretend they’re embarrassed, but Jyn climbs off of Cassian, back into the chair.

“You can wait outside,” the doc says with a sniff, and Jyn smiles under her breath, giving a nod as she goes to step outside.  


“General,” she says as she passes the man, and she looks up just in time to see -  


Oh. So he was embarrassed, blushing really. Well then.

Serves him right for just barging in like that…  _again_.


	13. Caught Off Guard Kiss

He’s trying to not be nervous, but it’s Jyn’s first mission since officially joining the Rebellion, the first mission that doesn’t involve him, the first time she has gone off with a pack and a blaster, and he’s not so sure that he’ll see her again. He knows she’s a good shot, that the Force is with her, with both of them, knows that she can survive, but he also saw her on Jedha - 

He saw her take a risk for a stranger. He’s scared she’ll do it again, and take a bolt in the back for it.

The call had come in thirty minutes ago, a number of injuries, a few casualties, but it was also four squadrons… there was no way that, out of all of them, Jyn would be one of the dead. She was likely injured, but would she even report it? Then again, what if she was one of the dead?

He just has to stand there and wait, watch as they all came climbing off the transports. He sees Melshi, knows that Jyn was assigned to him, even though they’re technically the same rank, and he runs in towards them, searching the man’s face.

“She’s a hellion, that girl of yours,” Melshi says, and he claps Cassian on the back before passing by.  


Would Melshi have said that if Jyn was dead? She’s probably injured, likely injured-

She doesn’t climb off the transport, and he almost panics. He doesn’t see her, doesn’t see her anywhere - he starts looking at the others, and then, finally, there she is - she’s carrying a man twice her size off and into the arms of the waiting medics, and is then turning around, looking for-

“Cassian!”  


He outranks her now, technically, and she should be using his rank, but he doesn’t care, instead just runs towards her. Her arm is out, and he scoops her up easily, twirls her in place, because she’s back, she’s back, she’s-

She’s kissing him, and he karking kisses her back. Kisses her back because she’s alive, and he’s a fool for thinking he wasn’t in love with her, for thinking Scarif didn’t mean something.

They pull away at the same time, in shock, and he blinks, before bursting out - “What was that for?”

Jyn suddenly looks shy, shaking her head, and he -

He kisses her again. Kisses her again, so that she knows,  _knows_ , that he liked it.

When they both pull away, they’re quiet for a long moment, before he finally asks-

“How was your first mission?”  


There’s a twinkle in her eye, and he remembers what Melshi said. A  _hellion_.

“Apparently, I’m a little too bold for this lot. They think I’m bad for their health.”  


He nods, because yeah, that’s not surprising - only, the pathfinders were by far the most insane lot he has ever met in his life. They fight dirty, are always getting into trouble and breaking the rules, and generally have a way of fixing things that makes him think he’s going gray. She’s too crazy for them…

“You know, I think there might be an opening in Intelligence…”  


Her eyes twinkle a little as she glances him over, then gives a shrug.

“I wouldn’t call you Captain,” she says, and he thinks she might be teasing him… “ _unless you asked me to_.”  


Definitely teasing him, and yup, they’re going to need to talk about that kiss…

_Hellion_ …

“Wait, what did you even do out on your mission?”  


She just laughs… and he chases after her.


	14. Lazy Morning Kisses

The comm unit sitting on the table beside the bed goes off, and Cassian reaches for it, eyes still closed, pressing it to his ear. He has to fumble to find the right buttons, and then groans, finally having it in place, his finger on the right spot. “Andor.”

The voice speaks, and then he pulls it from his ear, realizing that the comm was Jyn’s, and not his. He presses it to her ear, her face pressed into his chest, so he doesn’t even have to open his eyes, just press the speaking button when she lets out a huff.

“Erso.”  


The voice on the other end speaks, and about ten seconds later, there’s a tap on his wrist, and he presses the button again.

“Kark off. I’m not getting out of bed to clean up your shit. Comm back in two hours when you’ve already received a dressing down from someone that cares.”  


She shrugs her shoulder and he removes the comm unit, arm going back over his head to set it back on the table, and then he rolls over, still holding Jyn to him, so that she’s laying flat on the pillows, and he’s sliding down, his forehead pressing into her neck.

“Which one was it this time?” he asks, and his wife lets out a whimper. He can feel the pout, knows it’s there, doesn’t even have to see it to know.  


“I don’t know. One of the ones from Coruscant. They can’t tell a fuel line from a comm line, and cut the wrong one.”  


He can already guess it was the fuel line they cut.

“And who was supervising them? Let me guess it was Solo.”  


Jyn’s laugh tells him he’s right, and he presses a toe into the mattress, just enough to push himself upwards, his head now actually on the pillow as well, and his lips searching for hers.

It’s a long, slow kiss, and his hand moves up her body, over her hip, and up to her shoulder, so that then it can trail down, their fingers interlocking. He can feel the ring on her finger, and it’s so new, as new as the crystal around his neck. The crystal doesn’t carry the same weight as the ring does in sentimentality, but when the crystal had broken a piece off a few months prior, Chirrut had called it a sign.

She now wore it on her hand, and he wore the rest around his neck, a symbol of their love, their marriage.

So new, brand new, literally.

“I told you we should have taken a week off,” he grumbles, and his eyes pinch shut as he feels Jyn press her lips to his jaw, his face feeling too rough. She had insisted he grow it out, just because, but the burn on the inside of her thighs said it might need a trim… not that she complained.  


“They’d literally die without me,” she retorts, and their lips catch again, a long slow kiss. She’s melting under him, and he finally opens his eyes as they pull away from one another, taking a long look at his bride, the morning after.  


“Two hours?” he asks, and he raises a brow. That was what Jyn had said, and she smiles back at him.  


“Yeah. An hour for more sleep, thirty minutes to shower, and thirty minutes to…”  


Her hand reaches down to grab his ass, and he grins, laughing as his lips press to hers again.

“Mmm, sleep first,” he murmurs against her lips, and she nods. “Then we shower… together.”  


He can tell already that her eyes are closed as well, and in seconds, they drift back to sleep again.


	15. Routine Kisses

“Here, I brought you some caff.”

He heard her come in, heard her shutting the door and speaking to Kay, but he can’t stop his work, can’t look up from his datapad. He doesn’t know why it matters so much - at his age, with his experience, he should have been promoted years ago - but until now, Cassian had never thought he would live long enough to make it to Major.

But now, with his leg like it is, and how Draven has started to involve him in more decisions…

A test. He has to take a test. A test that requires studying, and honestly, he knows practical application, but another thing… he wants to have a career after this war is over. An actual career, with real pay, and assignments… 

One step at a time - first, he survives studying for this test. Then, he survives the test itself, and from there, he gets promoted, he works with Draven, and then… well, the rest of his future is still a little up in the air, including his future with the woman that just brought him caff.

“Thanks,” he says, and he turns his head towards her, pressing his lips to her cheek. It comes out of nowhere, just a random idea, that he needs to say thank you, needs to  _look_  at her when he says it, and when his gaze had shifted, her cheek had been right there.  


She takes it, and says nothing… just leaves the caff in it’s spot.

…

He thinks about that kiss. Thinks about it for the rest of the day. The datapad is abandoned, but he can’t stop thinking about how he just  _did it_ , how she hadn’t pulled away, hadn’t stopped him. He wonders if she was okay with it, if she had liked it, if she would let him…

He kissed her on the cheek. And now, he’s overthinking it.

…

“I brought you caff.”  


His test is the next day, so he has to keep studying, but here she is, with caff. He doesn’t look up from his datapad, just watches as it’s set in front of him, and she seems to pause for a moment, and then pull away. He swallows, because he has to wonder…

Was she hoping for another kiss? Was she pausing in hopes he would kiss her again.

“You’re a lifesaver,” he chokes out, and he doesn’t look up, just tries to keep reading.  


“Yeah, well, someone needs to keep you functioning,” she says, and he wants to look at her… but doesn’t.  


“Do you want to grab lunch together?” he asks, and his eyes are still on the pad, trying to cram the rest of the knowledge. “I’ll need a break from looking at the screen…”  


He can’t believe he just validated it, but he feels a hand on his shoulder, and it squeezes lightly. “I’ll pack something for us, and we can get out of doors, see some green.”

He doesn’t look at her when she leaves, but he wants to. Force, he wants to.

…

“Still at it?”  


Their lunch had been rained out, and then she had been called to help out after a shipment of supplies had come in, so Cassian had simply been given the food with an apology. It’s late, now, really late, and he’s trying to cram the last of his thoughts in.

“Yeah, I can’t… I just want to finish this last bit.”  


He knows he can’t possibly fit any more knowledge into his head, but he can’t give up. If he fails this test… well, he’ll probably still get promoted, actually. He’s the most capable man in Intelligence by far, and deserved the promotion. It would just somehow feel  _less_.

“You have to sleep,” she says, and yet instead, she puts a cup of caff in front of him.  


He doesn’t think about it, just turns his head, presses his lips to her cheek, and then turns away.

She’s still there, though, still bent over, and he turns, turns to look at her, to maybe kiss her again-

She kisses him back. Kisses him softly, then pulls away.

“Go to bed,” she says, and he’s still sitting there in shock when the door closes behind her.  


…

After he finishes his test, and passes, he kisses her again.

It isn’t on the cheek.


	16. Staring at the Other's Lips

They’ve been at this for weeks now, working to assemble a KX unit, where they could place the memory core for Kay. When he had been shot on Scarif, what had been destroyed was the power supply, the battery station… in essence, his heart. What had been unaffected, however, was the brain, everything that made Kay, well, Kay.

They had only had a few seconds to grab it, Cassian knowing exactly what to grab, having previously reprogrammed part of it to give Kay free choice, to join the Rebellion, to join Cassian, but even with the knowledge of what was important, the wires were frayed, some had to be entirely replaced, and it was slow work.

The chassis was perfect, the shell of it all ready to accept what was missing, and now, they just have to finish replacing the issues on the core. There had been blaster residue, one of the circuits was completely fried, and Jyn had somehow managed to completely destroy part of the ocular drive, which meant replacing it… but today, if they kept at it, it would be done.

Kay would be in a new body, and they could bring him back up. His last memories would be of death, or near death, and then…

He would be with them, in Cassian’s room on Crait, the current base of Intelligence for the Rebel Alliance.

“I have to admit, I have missed it,” Jyn says, carefully holding the magnifying glass over the chamber. Cassian is working with tiny tools, attempting to slide the wire into place, wrapping it around with a pair of tweezers, and it’s hard to see, even with all of the lights on.  


“What, you mean you miss the sarcasm?” Cassian asks, grinning a little under his breath.  


“I miss someone else calling you on your bantha shit,” she retorts, and Cassian has to pull away to fix her with a glare, then chuckle a little.  


“Yes, well, I am certain he will have a lot to say, once he’s awake again.”  


They have a list of things to tell the droid, like about what happened on Scarif, how the Death Star was destroyed, why they were no longer on Yavin…

In particular, Jyn wants to know his thoughts on her, whether or not she is a friend, even how he feels about… well, she’s interested to know Kay’s thoughts about her, and Cassian…

She hasn’t said anything to Cassian about it, of course. His thoughts, in their downtime, have been entirely on this project. She knows it’s important to him, understands why, and when she had brought back the KX from one of her missions, he had nearly cried. Nearly two months later, and Kay is almost back together.

She doesn’t know what they’ll have to talk about, after this, what they’ll do together. It had been awkward, once they were both out of medical, to find a reason to spend time with one another, to find ways to see him, but now…

She’s happy, honestly, that she can return his friend to him, that she can help him like this, but it means returning to being alone. She’s still not officially part of the Rebel Alliance, not really, and she could leave, but… she keeps hoping that Cassian will ask her to stay, rather than just assuming she won’t go. 

“And, there,” Cassian says, the last wire finished being wrapped.

They haven’t charged the unit, yet, instead waiting until everything is plugged in, and when Cassian carefully sets the core into the frame, they both hold their breath. Everything gets plugged in, wires attached, and once it’s done…

Cassian plugs it into the charging unit, so that they can wait to see what happens, wait to see if Kay is in there, if they had done this properly.

There’s a blaster sitting on the table, and they don’t talk about it, but Jyn knows where to aim to disable the thing, to not harm the memory core.

“How long?” she asks, and Cassian licks his lips.  


“A few minutes, maybe? Could be an hour. It all depends on how long it takes for everything to power up enough for the core to download the data of the new frame, and for the frame to accept the core.”  


A few minutes to an hour, before she has to say good bye.

“I’ve enjoyed this, with you,” she says, and she doesn’t look at Cassian, her eyes still on the KX. She won’t think of it as Kay until she hears the tinny voice laced with sarcasm. “Working on the droid, I mean. Thank you, for allowing me to help.”  


A hand covers hers, and Jyn looks up to see Cassian leaning in, holding onto her hand tight.

“Jyn… you cannot possibly…” He pauses, then shakes his head. She can guess what he was trying to say, but she lets him restart his thoughts. “I am forever grateful for what you have given me. I couldn’t imagine  _not_  doing this with you.  _Thank you_.”  


She smiles at him, something tight, and gives a nod. His hand doesn’t let go, though, and she realizes he’s still leaning in, eyes locked on hers.

“Cassian…” She breathes out his name, and he nods, like he might know what she’s trying to say, trying to ask, even if she doesn’t.  


“Jyn, you must know…”  


He can’t seem to bring himself to go any further, but he doesn’t have to. She can see it in his eyes. His eyes, which are lingering on her lips. Her tongue flicks out, wetting them, and Cassian sucks in a breath, licking his own lips. Her eyes are drawn to it, drawn to the movement, and she…

Karking hell, she wants to kiss him, wants him to kiss her. She thinks he might want it as well, and that opens up so many other questions that Jyn hasn’t even begun to figure out for herself, but she wants to  _know_. She wants him to tell her, to show her, before she has to lean in.

She does it anyways, even though she’s scared, and he does so as well. They’re both leaning forward, not, and his eyes flick up to hers for a moment, then back down to her lips. Neither of them is pulling away, but neither of them is closing the gap either.

She thinks, then, that this is it… this is the stalemate. This is their great story, right here, where they both leaned in, and no one made the final move. She’ll leave this room, leave his life, and forever look back on this moment, wondering what would have happened if she had just leaned in.

Jyn knows, realistically, that life is short, and she’ll be damned if she’s going to live with any regrets.

Closing the last few inches, Jyn presses her lips to his. She can’t even pull back, because Cassian is kissing her back, his hand moving from hers to her hair, cupping her cheek. His lips part immediately, and she presses into him, her body taking the two steps towards him so that they’re grabbing at one another.

There’s a faint sound beside her, but Jyn doens’t notice, because Cassian has already got her hair down, his fingers running through it, and she’s gripping at his shirt, holding him tight, trying to not let him go.

“… Oh God. Is this hell?”  


They both rip away from one another, looking to see that the KX unit is alive, and there’s a whirling that sounds absurdly familiar, just like Kay, letting out a sigh.

“Yes, this must be hell. It’s the only logical answer.”  


Jyn lets out a laugh, then looks up at Cassian, who is grinning.

“Welcome back, old friend. We have so much to tell you…”


	17. Hoarse Whisper "Kiss Me"

A blaster shot fires over his head, and Cassian ducks down, then flicks his eyes back up, trying to find an easy way out. This isn’t their fight, and they somehow stumbled onto two rival gangs going at it on their way back to the ship, but now, they’re caught in it. It reminds him of Jedha, how they had just taken aim at whoever might harm them, but he doesn’t want to shoot.  


Shooting would just get attention onto them, and they need out of here, now. They need out of here, in one piece, and they need to go now.

“Come on, time to go,” he yells at Jyn. She’s ducking down beside him, a shot already taken to her side, but she does as he orders, taking off and running down the alley he had just pointed towards. A difference between Jedha and here - she’s injured, and they’re surrounded.

A group of troopers come around a corner, and Jyn grabs his arm just in time, pulling him into a doorway. They’re quiet for a long moment, waiting as the squadron runs past, and then they’re out again, trying to make it to the ship yard.

It feels so far away, and between them and their ship is a whole sea of white uniforms that will shoot before they ask any questions.

Jyn takes two steps, and then darts back, and - “Stop right there!”

They both freeze, and then he’s reaching for the door, pushing it in. It’s not locked, and he shuts the door behind them, looks around. There’s no one home, thank the Force, and he’s looking for another way out, when Jyn rips off her jacket. She kicks it under the couch, then grabs his pack and shoves it under as well.

“In,” she says, and he has no time to think before she’s pushing him onto his back. In seconds, she’s on top of him, straddling his waist.

“Kiss me,” she demands, and he looks at her like she’s crazy, her fingers on her vest, ripping it open.  


“What-?”  


“Kiss me,” she repeats, and she leans forward. His hands automatically go to her hips, and in seconds, they’re kissing.  


The door bursts open, two troopers there, and their lips rip apart at the intrusion.

It takes two seconds for Cassian to realize what just happened, because suddenly, the stormtroopers are turning around, heading back out, assuming they had just walked in on the people that lived there.

He’s still laying on the couch as the door shuts, not moving, just looking at Jyn in shock.

“What the-”  


“Don’t say another word,” she says, and her finger is pointed at him.

He’s quiet, and she’s still looking at him, waiting for him to say something…

He doesn’t. Instead, he just kisses her again.


	18. Height Difference

Jyn climbs out of the fresher to see Cassian fully dressed, clothing and gear all packed, sitting on the chair beside the desk. When she had left the room ten minutes earlier, he had still been in bed, sprawled out under the sheets. She lets out a sigh and nods, running her long strands of hair between a towel.

“Call came in?” she asks, and he nods back in response. “It’s not your fault. We knew this wouldn’t last long.”  


They’re stationed on different bases, Jyn part of a forward assault, actually stationed primarily on a ship at this point, while Cassian is somewhere classified, some small Intelligence outpost. It was only supposed to be for a few weeks, but then their previous home base had been raised by Stormtroopers that stumbled on it by accident, so now…

They only get stolen moments. Moments like this one, where they don’t even get to sleep, just a few hours to remember the feeling, the kiss, the touch of the person they love.

“It won’t last forever,” he insists, and she nods. She knows that. If she wanted to, she could go with him, get herself assigned to Draven… except she can’t be a spy, and Cassian couldn’t handle being a pathfinder. They meshed so well, but their fighting styles, they don’t blend.  


It won’t last forever. There’s a new Home One under construction, somewhere like Yavin. When it’s established… they’ll be together again.

“I’m ready for this whole karking war to be over, so we never have to do this again,” she murmurs, and she drops the towel in her hair, pulls the one around her body tighter. Walking towards him, his arm reaches out, opening up so that she can step in, and her arms wrap around him, holding him tight.  


“When it’s over, we’ll be together. I don’t care where in the universe, just so long as-”   


“As long as we’re together,” she agrees.  


His lips press to her forehead, and Jyn closes her eyes for a moment, savoring this place in time, the feeling of him holding her. She opens her eyes again and sucks everything back with a sniff, all of the pain and emotion, the fear that she might not see him again, but - 

He carries her heart with him, everywhere he goes, and he will always return to her.

Going onto tiptoes, Jyn presses her lips to his. It’s quick, soft, gentle, and loving. When they pull away, he gives a nod, then presses his lips back to her forehead, and then bends down to her ear.

“Takodana, three weeks. When the call comes in, take it. I’ll see you there.”  


He’s not supposed to tell her this sort of thing, but she nods, and presses her lips to his again. She watches as he leaves, the door shutting behind him, and then she picks back up her towel, resuming drying her hair. She shouldn’t be going into the field right now, but…

She’ll see him in three weeks, then. She sort of has something to tell him.


	19. "The only way you’re getting off is on my thigh."

Hands trapped behind her back, Jyn struggles, trying to get out of his hold. His fingers are stronger than hers, like this, and with the help of her shirt being twisted around, she can’t get out, her upper body fully exposed to him, to his mouth and beard. He sucks at a nipple, his teeth tugging on it, and he rubs his rough face over the tender tip before shifting to the other, repeating the move.

“Keep struggling like this, and you’re going to suffer,” he murmurs between her breasts, and she tugs again, trying to get away. He still holds onto her wrists with one hand, and the other goes into her hair, tugging it backwards. She’s straddling his leg, and they’re both still fully clothed, his gun holster even in place…  


When he tugs on her hair again, it shifts her back, and when she rocks on his leg again, the rough strap works it’s way between her thighs, rubbing at her clit.

“If I can’t let go of you, that means only one thing,” he says into her throat, and he licks at her collar bone, mouth working it’s way back to her breast. “The only way you’re getting off is on my thigh.”  


It’s a challenge, she knows, and she started this, had dared him to try and keep her from getting off, had told him she didn’t even need her hands to cum, and now he’s testing her. She rocks her hips again, and she hates that her underwear is slick, keeping her from feeling the roughness of their pants, but that’s alright. She’s close as it is.

It’s a challenge, and as she rocks her hips again, she think she might just meet it. He licks at a nipple again, then sinks his teeth into her breast, sucking a mark there so that she’ll feel it later. Her breath catches, and his eyes flick up - he might be challenging her, but he sure as hell wants to see her succeed.


	20. “You make a sound and it’s game over.”

Cassian hears something behind him, but ignores it, his attention on the controls. It’s late at night on Base One, and they’ve all stayed up late for this takeoff, because when they land at their destination, it will be early in the morning. Only twelve hours, a relatively short journey, but they are all going to try and sleep right through it so that when they land, they can get right to work… then sleep on the way back.

He lets out a yawn as his finger flips the auto-pilot on, and he removes the headset, turning to see who it is. He expects Bodhi, of course, who had fought about giving up control of the cockpit, but Cassian had told him to bring them in to land instead. The pilot agreed with that.

Turns out, Bodhi hadn’t fought on it, because instead of his friend, it’s Jyn standing there, and Jyn is… Jyn is definitely not his friend.

She is the furthest thing from a friend when she sheds her jacket and pushes her pants down her hips, revealing that she’s entirely naked.

They never get any time alone on base, his room currently being shared with Bodhi, and Jyn sharing a room with Leia. Space is tight, so getting time alone, getting time separate… it’s really hard. Really karking hard… just like he is right now.

“Jyn-” he chokes out, and she steps forward, a smirk on her lips as she steps around, climbing into his lap.  


“Shh,” she murmurs, and he nods. He knows what she’s about to say.  


“I know,” he says in response, and he lifts his hips a little, shifting in the seat. Her hands are running down his chest, fingers catching at the front of his pants, and she tugs at his belt.  


They work together, his shirt tossed off to one side, his pants pushed down his hips, and they’re down around his ankles, but he’s not wasting the time to unlace his boots. He wants her too karking much to stop right now.

They haven’t said anything else, haven’t even kissed, but when he’s released from his pants and Jyn wraps her hand around his cock, fingers stroking at the base. He hisses in response, hips jerking into her hand, and she releases him, fingers going to his lips.

“You make a sound, and it’s game over.”  


He nods, licking at his lips, and removes her hand, fingers curling around her wrist. He tugs her closer, kissing her, and she kisses him back, their bodies pressing together.

He runs his free hand down her backside, over her hip, and down between them. She makes a little noise, she always does, and when his fingers run along her slit, she whimpers against his mouth.

“Quiet,” he says with a grin. “You make a sound, and it’s game over.”  


They silence each other with another kiss, and when she sinks down onto him, she swallows his groan. When his hips rock, she sighs into his lips, and when her nails run down his chest, he nips at her lips, trying to silence them both.

No one interrupts, no one wakes up, and then they’re done, they manage to stumble to their bunk together, just to sleep, of course. And when they wake up the next morning and hear everyone in the mess hall…

Well, they stay quiet and go for round two.


	21. "Let's take this outside."

The cantina is crowded, half because everyone is happy that Han is back, half because Lando is back as well, and that means he brought the good shit. It’s one of the craziest parties Jyn has ever seen happen actually on / in / around the Rebel Base Home One, which means that almost everyone here won’t even remember what happened tonight in the morning.

It’s why they’re not even hiding it, why they’re not even trying to conceal their relationship. Everyone knows, but it’s never really talked about - everyone is aware, but they’re the stern Major and his deadly Captain, the two leaders of Rogue One, that stormed the beaches of Scarif and fought against the Empire to destroy the planet killer before it could do anymore harm.

They are feared, their paths cleared, and some say Jyn is the most dangerous person on the base, even more so than the actual Jedi…

But right now, everyone is drunk, high on adrenaline and hormones, and when Cassian kisses her, she kisses him back.

Their bodies are sweaty from the party around them, underground, not enough airflow, and when his hands run under the edge of her shirt, she moans against his mouth, body arching against his. Their hands, lips, tongues, they all go to kiss, to touch, to tug, and when Jyn feels a bulge at the front of his pants and his fingers dipping into the back of her pants, she knows it’s time to get out of there.

“Let’s take this outside,” she insists against his mouth, and he nods, kissing her back, and they almost don’t make it even off the dance floor, but enough space opens up that Jyn pulls away, tugging him along, and out into the corridors.  


They could easily go back to their rooms, but everything feels stuffy, like it’s pressing in. They run out one of the side doors, supposed to be used only in case of attack so that they can disappear out in the planet, if the hanger has been destroyed, but right now, they’re definitely trying to get out for good reasons, and Jyn does want to disappear out there with him.

They stumble along, both still drink, until they reach a flat area, Cassian falling down first, then pulling Jyn with him. They’re laughing, laughing hard, and then Jyn kisses him again. 

Cassian rolls them, rolls her onto her back, and his fingers go to her belt, pulling at it to loosen. He’s able to push her pants down a few inches before she has to lift her hips, and his mouth, it moves lower with his hands.

“Fuck, we’re outside,” she gasps as his mouth reaches her hip bone, and he looks up, grinning.  


“No one’s watching,” he promises.  


It’s a good thing, because they put plenty on display.


	22. "Choke Me"

Something about Cassian is different tonight. Jyn has seen a hundred sides to the man that wears a thousand masks, but this is different. This is… Something strange and foreign. She might even call it twisted, save for the fact that she has never seen him looking so real, so open, so vulnerable. He looks raw and exposed, like he can’t hide himself any longer, like he’s filled with such self loathing and hatred, it’s smothering him.

She doesn’t stop, though, because Jyn has seen this before, felt that way before, and when Cassian had paused for even one second - what she had needed in that moment, it hadn’t been to stop and talk about it. What Jyn had wanted, and needed, was to just lose herself, lose herself in the moment, wash herself of it all, free herself of everything holding her down.

When Cassian looks up at her with broken eyes, rather than pushing him away, she kisses him again, kisses him long and slow, her fingers running into his hair, her hips rocking with his. She lets him tug her forward on him, lets him force her down as he rocks up, and it almost verges on painful, the way his fingers are pressing into her skin, but it makes her feel alive.

Alive is good. Alive is so much better than the alternative.

“Choke me,” he insists against her lips, and the request is so heavy, so intense, so sudden, her hips stutter, and she tenses for a moment. That’s all it takes, for him to look away, for him to look ashamed, and she wants to analyze that, but he  _trusts_ her.

They  _trust_  one another, and Jyn knows what that means, what this means. He’s open to her now, asking for something… She knows they should talk about this further, should talk about this in a safer environment, but he looks like he’s closing himself off, like all he needs is her hand around his throat to heal, and she’s denying him that.

“Look at me,” she orders, and he does so immediately. Her movements don’t stop as his eyes flick to hers, the command a simple one, and she runs her hand up his chest, fingers wrapping around his throat. She doesn’t press, doesn’t press at all, but her hand is still there, a simple pressure.  


He kisses her, suddenly, kisses her with her hand at the front of his throat, and it’s awkward, and their movements become stuttered, but it doesn’t matter, because when he pulls away, his eyes look alive. He presses himself into her hand, but her fingers don’t tighten. She just lets him find what he needs in her touch.

They’ll talk about it later -  _they always do_  - but right now, the weight of her hand is enough, and when he pulls away to kiss at her palm, she knows they’ll be alright.


	23. “Please, please let me come.” + “If you want it, beg for it.”

Jyn tries to arch back, but it’s impossible when Cassian presses her back down immediately. Her thighs ache, as do her hands, as she has been on her knees for what feels like hours, but she’s close, she’s so fucking close. They keep alternating, her shifting up, mouth open, sucking and choking on his cock, and then she’s bent back over again, her face pressed into the floor, with his fingers curled inside of her, pressing right against her gspot.

Every time she’s about to cum, he pulls his fingers back up, grabs her by her hair, and forces her back onto his cock again, telling her to choke on it.

When he sets a scene, well, years of being undercover means that Cassian knows how to commit… he fucking commits, and Jyn is completely blissed out, despite how much she aches, and how much she wants to cum. 

Her hair is pulled up again, and she opens her mouth automatically, tongue out. He slides into her mouth, and she chokes for a second, but then he begins to fuck her mouth again, mostly just the tip. Her tongue swirls around him, and he pulls away with a hiss. Right, close, he’s close.

“If you want it, beg for it,” he demands, and her eyes flick up to his, lips parted. She has never begged for anything in her life, but in this moment, it’s not even something for the scene. She wants him to cum, wants him to cum all over her, so badly, she thinks she might want it more than she wants her own orgasm.  


“Please, Cassian,” she begs, and he gives a nod for her to continue. “Please, cum on my tits, cum on me, please, I need it, I need you to-”  


“Call me by my rank,” he demands, and she remembers earlier that confession, her lips parting as she goes to speak.  


“Captain,  _please_ ,” she begs, and his hand strokes over his length. “Please, cum all over me-”  


Her hands cradle her breasts as her head tilts backwards, and she feels it, the warmth shooting out over her skin. She doesn’t even have time to think about it, because he’s letting go of her hair, making Jyn fall forward. She catches herself on her hands, and then she feels him falling to his knees behind her, fingers pressing inside.

“Beg for this too,” he orders, and she can feel his cum dripping off her breasts onto the floor, being rubbed into her skin as her face presses onto her hands where they hold herself up.  


“Please,  _please_   _let me cum_ ,” she sobs out, and his fingers curl inwards, working at her gspot as his thumb rubs over her clit, working the already sensitive bud to an orgasm.  


She hits her orgasm hard, and she can feel the moisture squirting out, covering his hand, her thighs. She sobs in relief, her body shaking, and she remembers to suddenly breathe, to suck in a breath, and when she lets it out, it comes with a scream.


	24. "Come sit on my lap"

She’s one of the last to show up, and when she bursts in the door, Jyn sees that every chair is taken. Han fixes her with a glare, as though she interrupted him saying something important, but she highly doubts that. It’s normally just bantha shit and other crass remarks. Still…

“Take a seat, Erso,” the General says, and honestly, who even promoted him? 

She gives him a glare in response, and almost considers throwing a rude finger gesture his way for good measure, when she feels Cassian grab her hand. He had a seat in the back row, hand raised just enough to stop her in time, and she looks at him, surprised, as he holds onto her hand.

“Come on,” he says, and she gives a nod, following. Cassian sits back down in his chair, but doesn’t let go of her hand. “Come sit on my lap.”  


His words are just a whisper, and she obeys without thought, because really, she can’t even believe he just said that. Telling her to sit on his lap? Who was this man, and what had he done with the awkward, shy man that, to everyone else, was a hardened spy?

Her legs are tucked in between his, and his arm goes around her waist to steady her, and she tries to ignore this, ignore how his hand flattens on her stomach, how her arm goes around his shoulders. They sit there, both so still, and she tries to pay attention to Solo, talking about the plans for Endor.

The problem is… she can’t listen. Not when she can feel every muscle of Cassian’s back under her arm, not when she can feel every muscle of his arm on her lower back. She can’t pay attention to anything else when she shifts a little, and Cassian sucks in a breath, his body going even more still.

The meeting takes hours, and by the time it’s done, she has heard nothing. Her body feels on fire, and she knows she needs to stand up once they’re dismissed, but she doesn’t move.

She can’t, actually, because he’s holding on tight to her, his fingers digging into his waist.

“Stay,” he says, and his voice is short, tense. She gives a nod, and tries to relax, only when she shifts a little, he tenses even further. “Don’t, you can’t-”  


“Problem, Andor?” Han calls from where he’s still standing, and Jyn really thinks about reaching down for Cassian’s blaster to shoot the man, even glances down towards it, when she sees - 

_Oh_.

“Meeting in my room in five?” she breathes out?  


Cassian gives a jerky nod, his eyes wide, and yeah…

Yeah, there’s a problem, but Jyn can fix it.


	25. “I could really use a fuck right now”

Jyn is just arriving at the Cantina when Cassian stumbles up, a grin on his face. He looks absolutely wasted, a bottle of something sloshing in his hands, and he looks free, empty. If it wasn’t for the alcohol, Jyn might actually think he was faking it, putting on a show, like he was undercover in this moment, but instead, he looks downright relaxed, in his element, walls down.

A part of Jyn prickles at that thought - Cassian never lets his guard down, never lets the mask slip, only for her, and that’s occasional. It’s so rare for her to be given that glimpse, and now, everyone in the room can see it, can see his soul laid out.

Something about this feels wrong, but his smile is contagious, so she smiles back… or at least, her eyes do.

“What is in that bottle?” Leia asks, and her eyes are wide, reaching over to grab the bottle from Cassian - who jerks it away and takes another swig of it.  


“Not sharing. Go ask your boyfriend,” he says with a grin, and his free arm goes around Jyn’s shoulders, tugging her close. This is… different as well. Every touch between them has always been calculated, like it was a risk that they were willing to take.  


Nothing about this feels right.

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Leia snaps, but Leia is still looking out for the smuggler, which has Jyn smirking for a brief second before she feels Cassian’s face pressing against her neck.  


“She’s lying to herself,” Cassian says, and his words are half mumbled… she has to wonder how he’s able to stand up, given how drunk he seems, and she turns her head, looking at him.   


He doesn’t smell like alcohol, thankfully, but Jyn barely even notices, because his eyes are staring right into her soul.

“So am I…”  


His words trail off, and Jyn waits for him to finish, but he seems to be distracted by it, pulling away and taking another swig. She steps back, out from under his arm, and something… nothing about this feels right. He has to be absolutely trashed, given how much of the bottle is missing, but - 

“About what?” she asks, and she can’t help it, because she wants to know, wants to know what Leia lying to herself about her feelings for Han has to do with anything, and Cassian…  


The look he gives her last for an eternity, and then he shakes his head. “It’s nothing, it doesn’t matter.”

It clearly does matter, and Jyn presses forward, her hand resting on his chest with the briefest of touches. “Tell me what’s on your mind?”

His eyes seem to seep into her soul, studying her, reading her, analyzing her, and he doesn’t look like Cassian the happy drunk… he looks like Cassian the spy, the man that she had first met, that held himself too still… and then he melts, giving another shrug as he pulls away to take another swig. “I could really use a fuck right now.”  


Jyn pauses for all of a breath, and then the words are past her lips - “That can be arranged.”

The bottle in Cassian’s hand, about to be pressed to his lips, lowers slowly, and he looks at her in shock, blinking. The grin almost seems to slip, and she thinks there’s a hardness to his eye, but then he gives a shrug, moving closer.

“Don’t say things you don’t mean, Jyn…”  


His words sound careful… very careful… although, so did the previous phrase. Very hard, very thought out…

He’s leaning into her again, his eyes half closed, and she snags the bottle from his hand, even with his protests. She takes a whiff of it-

“Why would you say that?” she snaps, and he looks… guilty. Guilty, and the grin has faded, and the light in his eyes… he’s staring at her like he feels pain, and she can’t even look at him… because it feels like he was teasing her. “What was the point.”  


He licks his lips, then shakes his head, taking the bottle back. Jyn knows that he’s good at being undercover, at playing a role, but to fake being drunk, so that he could… what, pretend to relax?

“I just… It was Bodhi’s idea.”  


It sounds like a stupid Bodhi idea, but that doesn’t save Cassian in this moment.

“Why would you pretend to be drunk?”  


She’s staring at him now, and he shakes his head, looking around the room, then pulls back. “Come with me. Please?”

She gives him a long look, then shakes her head. No, definitely not. She wants an answer, not some half truths, or side stepping.

“Why would you do that? Did you just… want to see what I would say? Practicing a new cover? Why even mention sex?”  


Her cheeks are burning now as she thinks about her response, thinks about how she had said it could happen, and Jyn could totally play it off as meaning that she could find someone, but the truth is, if Cassian wants sex, she wants to give it to him. She wants to give him a lot more than that, but in truth, Jyn was desperate enough…

She would take what she could get.

“Look, Jyn, I-”  


“Answer me,” she half begs, and her hand reaches out, grabs his wrist…  _that can be arranged_ …  


“Bodhi… he said that the only way I would ever confess my feelings for you would be if I was drunk,” he murmurs out, and his eyes are down, now away from her. “I figured.. if you were interested, we could…”  


“What, have you pretend to puke in the fresher while I refuse to have sex with someone who’s drunk?” she asks, and she steps back, shaking her head. “Seriously?”  


“It wasn’t the most thought out plan,” he confesses, and his eyes are down, and he shakes his head. “It was a stupid plan. I was going to get actually drunk, but then I thought, what if she actually does have feelings for me? What if Bodhi is telling the truth? But, I had to just tell you, at least once, and-”

“What does that even mean?” she says, interrupting him, and her eyes are wide, trying to read his. They should have left the room, left the insanity, because they’re half yelling, half muttering, and she’s missing every few words, but she gets enough. “Cassian, how do you feel about me?”

He just stares at her, stares into her soul, gives a nod, and a shrug, then steps forward, his free arm going around her waist to tug her forward. They never touch like this, not since Scarif, not since nearly a year earlier, and his lips press to her ear, like he has a secret, and she sucks in a breath, waiting for it.

“I love you. I karking love you. I know it’s too much, I know, I just-”  


Her head turns and catches his lips, and he tastes clean, tastes like water, and caf, and not at all like alcohol, and he kisses her back immediately, the hand on her lower back tightening. Her fingers go into his jacket, tugging him closer, and she tries to not pull away, but eventually, air demands it, and she pulls back just enough that she can suck in a breath.

His eyes are closed, and she waits until they open before she speaks.

“I could really use a fuck right now, but I would rather you take me to your room, undress me, and slowly show me how much you love me…”  


He gives a nod, his eyes flicking over hers, and she takes in a breath, before giving him the answer he’s looking for.

“Because I love you too.”  


His smile, it’s real, it’s genuine, and it’s just for her.


	26. “Are you sure you want to do this in the speeder?”

This isn’t their mission to run, which means that Jyn and Cassian are just sitting back, watching the show go down. Jyn has a set of binoculars in her hands, and is watching, making sure no Empire douchebags show up, while Cassian snacks on a bag of bang-corn they had picked up in the market when they first arrived, a blaster laying across his lap, and his feet kicked up over the controls of the speeder they  _tactically acquired_.

“Okay, remember how last week I said I have literally never been so bored in my entire life?”  


They had had to wait over six hours for permission to take off on a mission that was a requirement but was caught in political bullshit. Jyn had been doing shots of pathfinder hooch every time someone said something stupid, so they had been dismissed and forced to sit in the long corridor, her hooch confiscated.

She had very loudly declared that she had never been so bored in her life, and Cassian had just snorted.

This beat that moment.

“Sit back and relax,” Cassian says, and he tosses another piece of bang-corn into the air, catching it with his tongue. “The deal is almost done, then we can get back to our ship and head back to Base One.”  


“I feel like a babysitter,” she says with a snap, and she glares at Cassian, binoculars dropped onto her lap. “I want to do something fun.”  


Cassian gives her a look that says he knows what’s fun, and so does she, she really does, but… they’re sitting out in the middle of a bunch of fields, with no one around for miles, helping to provide a perimeter. They could, they totally could…

“Are you sure you want to do this in the speeder?” she asks, and one eyebrow props up with the question.  


The answer is yes.

Five minutes later, Cassian’s sitting down with Jyn in his lap, both their pants pushed down around their ankles. Neither are paying attention to what’s going on, save for the other, and she only barely notices a reflection on the horizon before she grabs the binoculars, checking out what it is-

“Incoming,” she says, and she pushes herself off of him, tugging her pants up. Cassian groans, so close as it was, and he fumbles, trying to pull his pants up while grabbing the specs from her hand.  


“Couldn’t they wait till we finished?” he asks, and Jyn already has the machine started, ready to race back to town, to let them know they have incoming.  


“Kill them all quickly, and we can fuck on the ride home.”


	27. "Where are your manners?"

She’s almost out of the training room when a hand reaches out and grabs her. She swings, immediately, turning her whole body, but her wrist is caught in the move, and her back hits the wall. She’s just about ready to shift her weight, to turn and knock the person over, when she realizes who it is, her hands released, and a hand against her mouth.

Her eyes are wide, breath coming hard, and she’s about to ask what he’s doing, when he drops to his knees in front of her, his face pressed between her legs, and his fingers reaching up to the top of her workout pants. He never normally saw her in anything tight fitting, but Leia had turned her onto them, formfitting but stretchable, giving Jyn the ability to work out in something other than her normal attire.

The problem with them was, Cassian could never keep his hands off of her… apparently including now.

It’s a good thing that Jyn is the last one out, because if anyone else saw, it would be serious trouble, but the light is still on and the door is unlocked, meaning anyone could walk in, even at this late hour. That doesn’t seem to bother Cassian, though, and he has her pants halfway down her hips before she even seems to realize what’s going on.

“Where are your manners?” she breathes out, and Cassian looks up at her, eyes wide, his nose and mouth still pressed to her cunt. She can’t believe he’s actually that turned on, given how sweaty and gross she feels, but if he really wants to… 

He looks up at her in shock, lips parted, like he’s not even sure what he did wrong, until it seems to click… at least, on what makes the most sense. Her fingers run into his hair, though, a soothing petting motion, and she smiles down at him.

“At least be good enough to take your shirt off.”  


He does so, as she pushes her pants down, over her still bare feet, and when his mouth goes back between her thighs, Jyn barely even thinks about the fact they can be walked in on, his tongue on her clit, and her fingers back in his hair.


	28. “Louder”

She’s tight around his fingers, the sobs clear from her throat, but it’s not enough, no where near loud enough. They had a goal, a purpose in this, and as much as Cassian is proud of her, proud of Jyn for cumming again, for whimpering his name, for gasping for him, it’s nowhere near enough.

Her first orgasm, on his tongue, had been met with soft sighs and whimpers. The second orgasm, on his cock, had been tiny gasps and a choked  _please_ , but it’s still not enough.

She’s scared, scared of letting it out, letting it show. They both know, know that this goes beyond sexually, but Jyn had asked him to help her work through it. He knows that she’s tired, knows that her wrists ache, knows that she’s overly sensitive as his fingers run up and down her slit, but it’s not enough. Not yet.

“You did so good,” he promises, and his fingers run down the inside of her thighs, gathering up the dripping moisture. She has been tied up for over an hour now, and he can see the chill on her body, can see the goose bumps and how her nipples are hard, aching even. “So very good.”  


He rubs his hand on his pants, hastily tugged back up his hips after he had cum earlier, and he goes around to face her, his hand cradling her chin. Her eyes look up at him, her hands still tied out in front of her, and he brushes her hair back from her face. She looks tired, but there’s still a wall there, one they’re on the verge of pushing down, but not quite.

“Do you think you can do another?” he asks, and he sees it - fear. Fear, because he’s pushing her, and that was the point of this, but she has done so well for him, and he doesn’t want to give up until he has what she asked him to make her give him.  


“Cassian…”   


She simply breathes out his name, and he gives a nod. Still just a breath, still just…

They’re out here, literally in the middle of nowhere space, nothing, no one around, just the two of them, and she can still do nothing more than a whisper.

He wants her to scream, needs her to scream, needs her to just let it out, let everything out. She had confessed, had whispered, after so many conversations, how she kept it all bottled in. Everything had eventually poured out of her, with time, but like this, at her most vulnerable…

She wants to let it out. He wants her to let it out. He’s going to drag it out of her, if he has to.

“Up on your knees,” he says, and he drops her chin, goes back around behind her. She has been on her stomach the entire time, her hands tied above her head, and tied underneath the bed above her. She keeps trying to lay on her side, like now, but he wants her fully exposed to him, wants her ass in the air, her cunt at the perfect height, so that he can drag it from her.  


“You’re going to cum again,” he says as he stands behind her, and he reaches forward, grabbing her by her hair, and her back is forced into an arch as he presses three fingers into her cunt. He says it like a fact, a statement, because he’s going to make her, and she doesn’t have a choice. “You’re going to cum again, and when you do, you’re going to scream.”

“Cassian-”  


He wants to hear her making noise, but not her saying she can’t. He knows she can, has made her cum four times before, but it has been nothing like this. He’s going to rip that scream out of her body, unless she says the safeword. She isn’t, though, so he’s going to keep pressing ahead.

“Don’t tell me you can’t,” he says, and he curls his fingers inside of her as he tugs on her hair again, and he knows he’s pushing her body physically, that he’s causing her to ache in more places than just her cunt, but he’s going to make her cum for him again if it’s the last thing he does. “I’m going to make you ask me for it, beg me for it.”  


She scoffs, but Cassian knows that noise. There’s a part of her that thinks he won’t actually do it, thinks that Cassian isn’t up to the challenge, but she should know better - he has never failed before, and won’t fail now. There’s another part of her that doesn’t think she can do it, but Cassian knows her, knows this woman. He knows he can make her body sing.

The hand on her hair releases as his fingers withdraw, and he tugs her back on the bed, tugs her as far back as he can, until her feet are hanging off the edge of the bed, and if he got a chair, he could just sit down, bury his face between her thighs. 

Instead, he presses his fingers back in, three, then a fourth, and when he curls his fingers this time, she lets out a sharp gasp, something louder than earlier. He doesn’t comment, just curls his fingers again, fucking her on them, stroking her with each drag out. She’s choking on it, choking on her gasps, and he pulls his fingers out entirely, the slick dripping from the tips onto the floor.

“You’re going to scream for me,” he says, and his hand slaps across the top of her thighs, just under her ass. They haven’t discussed this, and she lets out a cry in response. It’s not hard, not hard enough to actually hurt her, but it certainly does cause a shock in her. He can see the response, can see how her legs shake a little, and he pauses, waits…  


There’s nothing, no words, not even a hesitation, and it’s the smallest movement, her hips shifting back again, but it looks like she’s waiting for him to do it again. She’s waiting, almost reaching out, for him to spank her again.

His hand hits on the bottom of one side, and then the other, two quick pops, and she gasps, the cries shaking a little, like she’s having a hard time breathing. He pauses for just a breath, and then he slaps her again, on each cheek, fully on the thickest part.

The skin is bright where he just smacked, but that isn’t where he’s looking. His eyes are on her face, as much as he can see from one side, her face pressing into the bed in front of her. Her lips are parted, eyes pinched shut, and he can almost feel it, the scream on the tip of her tongue.

“What do you want?” he asks, and his hand rubs over where he just spanked, almost soothing the skin.  


“Again,” she breathes out, and it’s so soft… he slaps her hand once, but it’s almost as soft as her voice.  


“Louder,” he says, and she licks her lips, then gives a nod.  


“Again,” she asks, and her voice is louder, a spoken voice, and he responds in kind, his slap not as sharp as earlier, but firm, steady.  


“Again?” she gasps out, and it’s higher, louder, louder than she had been earlier. It wasn’t the scream he was looking for, but…  


Her attempts are rewarded, and he spanks her ass hard enough that when Jyn sucks in a gasp, it’s loud enough that the sound echos with the sound of the spank.

Now they’re getting somewhere.

He doesn’t make her ask again, his hand alternating between spanking across the top of her thighs and the thickness of her ass, and it’s only when the skin looks truly red that he finally stops, his hand running over to soothe it. She’s whimpering as he touches her, and when his fingers slide into her, he knows just how turned on she is, the wetness almost dripping out at this point.

He pulls them out and slides them into his mouth, taking a taste, and then he just… waits.

Her ass is red, still up in the air, and the inside of her thighs are wet from her slit. She’s ready, she’s on the edge, and he knows that he could easily make her cum with just a few seconds of effort… but he had told her she would beg, and he’s holding to that promise.

“What do you want?” he asks, and Jyn is breathing hard, but she isn’t moving, not pulling away nor trying to get closer to him.  


“Cassian…”   


She’s back to just breathing out her words, and that won’t do.

“Louder,” he demands, and he steps up behind her, runs a hand up her spine, almost soothing. “I told you, that you would beg for me to make you cum. You know what I want to hear.”  


There’s a slight shift of her weight from one side to the other, and then…

“Cassian?”  


It’s almost a whisper, and he shifts forward, his fingers running back down her spine, around her hip, holding onto her side.

“Yes?”  


It takes so long, but he’s patient, so he waits until she finally says… “Will you… can you make me cum?”

She has never asked, never asked before, never even requested, not even a  _please_ , and that’s… that’s better than any scream. He knows that he’ll get that scream, but it will come when he gives her what she’s asking for.

He had said she would beg, but this was a plea, and he won’t deny her.

“Of course,” he hums, and his hand shifts back between her legs, fingers running over her slit. “Of course. Just relax, Jyn, and cum for me…”  


He curls his fingers into her, applying just a touch of pressure, and there’s a sigh of almost relief from Jyn, and then - “More?”

He sounds nearly a whine, and when he presses a little harder, she-

“No, more… again?”  


Her body is practically shaking, on the verge of an orgasm, and he realizes, suddenly, what it is - she wants him to spank her into an orgasm. He can do that. He can certainly do that.

One hand pressing into her core, the other slaps at the inside of her thighs, where the skin is tacky with sweat and cum, and then the other side, back handing it. Her legs shake as he does it, and he can feel her tighten around his fingers. She’s trying, trying to hold off, but he wants her to just let go, to just let herself feel.

“Cum for me,” he demands, and his fingers curl inside of her, stroking at the spot that makes mer shake for him, every time. His thumb catches her clit as he slides out, then back in, and he rolls the bud under his touch, his other  hand slapping back and forth between her thighs. It’s not enough to leave a mark, but enough to give a sharp sting, and he can feel her tightening around his touch, her body going tense.  


He knows it’s coming, but the sound is beautiful, her whines getting louder, higher pitched, almost sobs, and then she’s cumming, cumming hard around his fingers, and it coats the inside of her legs, running and dripping down, and his stomach as well. He works her through it, and he’s no longer spanking, instead moving his hand to her hip to hold her upright, to keep her from falling down.

The scream, though, she lets out a scream, something deep from inside, and even after the scream has left her, she’s sobbing out, crying under her touch. He works her through it, holding her body up for him, until she jerks away, and he pulls his fingers from her, rubbing them on his pants before moving forward.

“You did so good,” he promises, and he’s moving forward quickly, one hand still on her side, to untie the rope from her wrists. It comes out with a few tugs, and then he lays Jyn down onto her side, her body still shaking and shivering. One hand never leaves her skin, until he has her laying on her side, her body tense as she comes down from the high she was in, and comes back from the low space she had entered.  


“Jyn, look at me,” he whispers, and her eyes open just enough, tears prickling the corners. “I’m going to go get something to clean us up with, and then I’ll be back. Is that okay?”  


She nods, but he knows to rush, and he takes a few quick steps to grab his tshirt, thrown aside, and the bottle of water. He just pours it onto the shirt, enough that it’s wet so he can clean her up, and then he moves back to Jyn. His touch is gentle, on her arm, and then he moves lower.

Cleaning up the inside of her legs is the easy part. From there, he reaches for the bacta gel that he had pulled out before this all began, and he touches it to her wrists, soothing the marks there. She had mentioned once, hating the scars left from her shackles, and he doesn’t want to add to the marks, even if she had actually wanted this.

When he goes to her legs, she shakes her head, though, and he sets the gel aside, simply tugs her close.

“I don’t want to forget this feeling,” she murmurs, and he can sense how tired she is, his hand running over her hair, turning her face to look towards him.  


“I’ll remind you, any time you need,” he promises, and he presses his lips to her temple, to her jaw, to her nose. She smiles in response, eyes closed, and he holds her tighter.  


He’ll lay like this until they reach their destination, and then they can stay in the atmosphere until she wakes up. They’re in no rush to get anywhere, nothing pressing… nothing is more important than this moment, and as his hand runs over her side, he thanks the Force for this trust, and that he could give her what she needed.

He’ll remind her any time she asks.


	29. “I’ve been thinking about doing this all day"

Her hands are in her hair, trying to get through the blood and the dirt and the oil, trying to reach the roots, when she hears the door to the fresher open. All of the tension in her body that she had been unable to release washes out of her with the water, and she lets her hands drop as she sees him, her husband, her Cassian, starting to strip out of his clothing.

She had waited, had waited all day for his shuttle to return, but word had come that he had taken over command of the transports, and collecting the dead, which meant he would be one of the last off of the battlefield. It was a battle won, yes, but the cost was high.

He was alive, though, and that was the only reason she eventually gave up her vigil in the hanger. And now, now he’s back, he’s back with her, his pants hitting the ground, and his body joining her under the steady stream of water.

Her arms go around his shoulders as he pulls her close, his arms around her waist, and they haven’t seen each other in days. He had been off planet when the attack had happened, when her unit had been dispatched to save the rebel outpost, and they had won, they had won and defeated  _so many_ , but victory was hollow when you were surrounded by death.

They’re alive now, though, and he’s holding her so tight, she thinks he might never let go.

They stand under that steady stream of water until he tries to press his lips to his temple, only to discover the matted blood and hair there. He pulls away, looking her over for any injuries, but all she has is bruises and an aching heart.

“Any of this yours?” he asks, and she shakes his head no.  


His fingers go into her hair, starting to try and comb it into something presentable, trying to get the water through it. Blood and dirt run down her body, and down the drain, until eventually, enough of it is out that her scalp is wet. He reaches for the soap, pouring some into his hands. His fingers run into her hair, and she lets out a sigh of relief.

It takes time, and he has to gather more soap, has to reach out to the sink to grab her comb, has to stop on more than one occasion, but eventually, her hair is clean, as is the rest of her. When the water goes cold, they don’t move, his arms just wrapping around her, and holding her tight.

“I’ve been thinking about doing this all day,” she murmurs, and he presses his lips to her forehead, then runs his hand down her face, fingers going under her chin to tilt her face up. He kisses her softly, so softly, it feels like a dream, like it’s unreal, but he’s the only thing that’s truly real anymore.  


She kisses him back, kisses him until he shuts off the water, and his arms wrap around her, picking her up. They forget the towel, forget everything else, and when her back hits the bed, he reminds her of how very real he is, how no matter how bad the day goes, she will always return home to this, return home to him.


	30. “You’ve got too many clothes on.”

He’s tired, exhausted really, a long day working in Command running him into the ground. It’s different from anything he has ever done before, and somehow, he feels more exhausted from listening to politicians argue, dealing with military personnel try to keep their cool, and having to make decisions that honestly don’t interest him. A curse, apparently, with being taken off active missions, but it looks like that’s the future for him.

He doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know how to lead, doesn’t know how…

He’s too beaten up, sticks out too much, his limp pronounceable, his back filled with metal, and he knows if he went out there again, he wouldn’t come home. Still, it feels more preferable at times to actually spending his days with High Command, training to join them.

They’re too far away from the fight, he thinks, too far away from the action, too far away from -

He pushes his door in, eyes down, but it’s bright in his room, well bright enough from the lamp beside the bed, and he looks up to see someone  _in_  his bed, or more like…  _on it_.

He freezes where he is, drops the datapads in his arms, and stares for a long moment, taking her in. Jyn is not the tallest woman in the galaxy by far, but her legs look long, her body is fit and lithe and defined, and she’s naked,  _karking naked_ , laying in his bed.

It’s just the kind of thing he needs after a long day, coming back to find his lover waiting him, but he’s too kriffing tired to even think of a response.

“You’re naked,” he sputters out, and it’s the best he can manage.  


In response, he gets a raised brow as Jyn pushes herself up, sitting up on his bed, her legs going to tuck under herself. 

“And you’ve got too many clothes on. Take them off.”  


His foot kicks the door shut behind him, and then he obeys, tugging his shirt out of his pants, unhooking his belt, kicking off his boots, and when he’s as naked as she is, he waits, waits for her command, exhaustion and sheer want and need keeping his blood from flowing to the head he actually still needs.

“Now come here,” she commands, and he does, he goes to her, his knees hitting the bed as he crawls up it, crawls towards her.  


“Take a taste,” she murmurs, and his eyes flick down. He’s so out of it, he can think of nothing else but doing this right, can think of nothing else but pleasing her. He doesn’t know what to do with the politicians, doesn’t know how to soothe old war dogs, doesn’t know how to bridge the gap between the officers and the infantry…  


But he knows how to do this…


	31. “I can’t wait any longer.”

“He’s a complete and total nerf herder, and honestly? I’m done. I’m so karking done. I have no interest in ever seeing him again!”  


Cassian can hear Leia before he sees her, and he peaks out of his U-Wing, where he had been all morning to make repairs. He had seen Jyn’s shuttle landing from the cockpit, but within seconds, both Jyn and Shara, who had been part of the escort, had been assaulted by one steaming Princess, and honestly…

Cassian is a little afraid. There’s nothing wrong with a healthy dose of fear. Nothing at all. And really, Leia deserves to rant, given how she has to deal with Han Solo, except…

Except Cassian is now trapped, watching his wife, who looks ready to drop from exhaustion, listen to and console Leia after the thousandth fight.

Would he get a medal for killing Han? Probably at first. If Han was dead, then he wouldn’t have to deal with the smuggler any longer, and Leia would stop ranting about him, but - 

That might also upset Leia, who would cry on Jyn’s shoulder, and that would still keep him separated from his wife. 

He’s stuck waiting, watching, and his eyes lock with Shara, who looks far too amused. Jyn, though, is turning away, her eyes flicking towards the hanger doors.

She’s looking for him, in the entirely wrong direction.

“And I mean, honestly, who even karking asked him?”  


“I’m sure you did,” comes the voice of one Kes Dameron, and honestly, Cassian could kiss the man. He’s just as ready to claim his own wife, it looks, except that Kes comes armed with a cute baby, which means… well, it means that Leia won’t yell at Kes.  


Jumping out of his ship, he moves across the hanger quickly, grabbing Jyn’s arm. She looks ready to strike until she realizes it’s him, and they duck out of the hanger quickly, Leia’s wrath already being soothed by one Poe Dameron, sweet newborn that he is. Leia won’t get too mad.

“Come on,” he whispers into Jyn’s ear, and she moves with him, doesn’t pull away as they move into the hallway. Cassian doesn’t stop, though, and their room is on the other side of base, so in seconds, he’s pulling her into an empty storage room, and pressing her against the door.  


“Sorry, I just-”  


“I can’t wait any longer,” she says, interrupting him, and her pack hits the ground. Her hands go to her belt, and she’s unhooking it in seconds, her pants then starting to slide down her hips.  


He had been injured when she left planet, and well… it had been quite a while.

“Karking hell, neither can I-”  


If anyone walking by happens to overhear them, well, at least it wasn’t sexually repressed Leia. Everyone else? They know Jyn probably has a blaster in there, and isn’t afraid to use it.


	32. “Shhh... Someone’s gonna hear you.”

They’re in a storage closet, because they’re both drunk, drunk on love and drunk on pathfinder hooch, and because his room is too far way. The storage closet is perfect, far enough away from the party so that no one else will randomly use it, and probably won’t even hear, and yet close enough that they were only half dressed by the time Cassian throws Jyn against the door, locking it above her head.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he insists, and his mouth goes back to her throat, kissing and sucking at the skin there. Her fingers are on his chest, tugging at his shirt, and when he pulls away, they both pull their shirts over their heads, tossing them aside.  


His hands go to her pants as she works at her breast band, and in seconds, he’s tugging her pants down her hips, only to get stopped by her boots.

“Hurry!” she insists, and he tries to, his fingers fumbling with the laces. They manage to kick them off together, and she’s left naked for him, and Cassian still in his pants.  


“Fuck it, I have to have you,” he says, fingers trying to work at his own boots, and he instead just stands back up, tugging at his belt, and pushing his pants just far enough down his hips that his cock is free.  


Her fingers trail over his abdomen as he steps closer to her again, and he’s already hard, so in seconds, her leg is hitched up high around his waist, and his fingers are pressing at her slit, testing how wet she is.

“All of this for me?” he teases, and Jyn’s hand slaps at his shoulder, like she’s already annoyed with him, but the grin says otherwise.  


“Just fuck me already, and be quiet,” she insists, but Cassian laughs, his fingers pulling away from her core, only to be replaced by his cock.  


He presses into her, causing Jyn to arch her back and bite her lips, trying to stay quiet, and he’s enveloped in heat, her body perfectly made to fit his. He lets out a groan, head falling to her shoulder, and her fingers wrap into his hair, anchoring her to him.

His hips pull back slowly, and then he slams back in, drawing a groan from both of them. “Fucking beautiful. You’re so fucking beautiful, taking my cock. Fucking perfect, made for me, you’re-”

“Shh,” she insists, and another gasp escapes as he slams back home again. “Someone’s gonna hear you.”  


His head turns, kissing her hard, and he hitches her leg higher, trying to find the perfect angle. He’s done it before, had her at just the right point, was able to fuck her into an orgasm as his cock rubbed the perfect spot, and he wants to do it again, wants to feel her clench around his cock as he cums with her.

“Let them hear,” he insists against her lips, and his free hand tugs her other leg up around his waist, so he’s supporting all of her weight. “Let the whole base hear how much I fucking love you.”  


She’s breathing hard already, a sign of how close she is, has been, how long they’ve been kissing. A wedding is something rare on this base, and celebrating the love of two people in the middle of actual hell, it’s something to celebrate. It seems to inspire them both, the love and passion they had just seen, the way that everyone at the party seemed to be affected by the hope of the Damerons, that they would have the future they just promised one another.

“Cassian-”  


“Let them hear,” he repeats, and his lips are at her ear, catching the lobe for a moment to suck on before releasing it. “Let them all hear that I want to spend the rest of my life like this, unable to keep my hands off of you, aching for you every day. Let them all hear that I would spend the rest of my life worshiping you if you let me. Let them-”  


She let’s out a sob, and he knows he has it, that perfect spot, the place where he curls his fingers to make her whole body shake, and the fingers in his hair tighten, pulling at the roots. He’s going to make her cum, just like this.

“That’s it, that’s it,” he groans, and he’s so close himself, but he can get her there, can hold it back. “Tell them. Tell them you’ll fucking mar-”  


“Yes,” she gasps, and she’s letting out a scream, unable to stay quiet any longer. He can feel it, on the front of his pants, all around his cock, can feel her body respond to his, and he fucks her through it, fucks her with complete loss of control, until he cums so hard, he blacks out for a moment. All of his weight is pressed onto her against the door, and when he comes to his senses-  


“Yes?” he asks, because he hadn’t even gotten the words out, and it might have just been the orgasm, or it might have been-  


“Yes.”  


She’s still breathing hard, but she manages that word…

_ Bang! Bang! Bang! _

“If you two are done in there, Leia’s already planning your wedding!”


	33. slow sensual tender massage

His back doesn’t hurt him all the time, but it aches now, aches from the cold. Some injuries heal with a scar, some are deep wounds in your soul, but his back… His knee is good with a brace, his shoulder just needs lotion after a shower, but his back… It aches, and he’s useless with it. He wants off this planet, stupidly hopes that the Empire will discover Hoth before the month is out, but until then, he feels utterly useless.

“ _Relax_ ,” she whispers into his ear, and he’s trying to, he really is, but it’s hard to relax when everything just hurts. Jyn had done this, so long ago, when he was first released from medical. They had both rubbed the soothing balms laced with bacta into the other’s skin, but Jyn’s skin had healed. His issues were deeper, all the way to the bone.  


And she had learned. He had never asked, but she had learned, had studied old texts, had asked questions, had gone to every appointment. She had spent time, so much time, learning his back, his muscles… He never had to ask. She would just give him a look, like she knew, because she did know. She knew when his back ached, knew just where to push, just how hard and how long, and without fail, he felt like a new man.

She always made him feel like a new man, looked at him like he was forgiven, like his weight wasn’t carrying him down, looked at him like she knew him, knew his soul, and he-

“It hurts to relax,” he gasps, and that means something, is a hint, that something deep within his muscles is too tense from the cold. Everything around the base, it feels like he’s constantly on edge, teeth chattering, fists clenched, and it has transferred into his back, to the point he can’t even try to relax.  


“Then you’re not trying hard enough,” Jyn says. She’s sitting on his ass, where she always sits, and there’s warm blankets tucked all around him, even around his neck, and her hands are gliding up and over the skin, a warming oil on her fingers, so with each pass, it warms the muscles underneath. “You have to let go, Cassian. I know it’s cold, but it’s going to stay cold.”  


It takes another ten minutes before she finally gets a knot out of his lower back, and when her hands release, cold fills him… but so does relaxation. His teeth chatter a little, no longer being clenched, and Jyn slides off his back, moving to pull off the blankets.

“Alright, come on,” she says, and she moves to the fresher door, pulling it open. She’s already turning the knobs, and water begins to pour out. Her hands are on her clothes next, tugging them off, and Cassian pushes down his pants and his socks, following after Jyn until they’re both in the shower.  


The water is hot, so hot it almost burns, but she nudges it down just enough that, after having the main knot in his back released, he’s able to finally feel warm without being so tense.

“Just relax,” Jyn says again, and he knows she’s in here with him, pressed behind him. Her hands mess with the head, turning it so that it’s hitting Cassian’s shoulders as he leans against the wall, and Jyn then rubs at his lower back again, trying to stretch out the muscles.  


It takes time, so much time, but Jyn doesn’t complain, and with each pass, more of the tension fades, more of the stress relaxes, until finally, Cassian feels nearly boneless, Jyn now standing in front of him, his head on her shoulder, and his weight bending down onto hers.

“I’ve got you,” she promises, and Jyn is leaning back against the fresher wall, the water still hitting his back. He’s entirely out of it, even better than he is after an orgasm, and he gives a nod, his face pressed into her neck.  


“Thank you,” he whispers, and she runs her fingers into his hair. There’s still soap in there, and she’s running her nails over his scalp, but they’re in no rush to get out. Not until the water goes cold.  


“Always, Cassian. You know I’m happy to do this for you.”  


He lets out a noise, and she hushes him, her fingers running over his neck, working at the muscles there. They are not from an old injury, are instead a product of long desk work, but she massages them all the same.

He’s half asleep where he stands, the only thing he can feel being Jyn’s hands on his body, and the water hitting his back.


	34. space sex toys

“What the… what the kark is this?”

Jyn turns around to see what’s in Cassian’s hand, and freezes. She… she isn’t sure how to respond… and then bursts out laughing. Of course, Cassian is still holding it, staring at her in shock, waiting for an answer.

“Put that… put that down,” she says, and she’s trying, honestly, honest to the Force, and she can’t believe how hard she’s, laughing, but -   


“Well, what is it?” he asks.  


Jyn just shakes her head, going to the drawer that Cassian had pulled it out of, and slamming it shut.

"It’s a karking sex toy,” Jyn says, and she’s trying to not laugh, but Cassian’s face…

It goes from annoyed to confused to horror, to-

“What the… it looks like a torture device!”  


Jyn is still laughing, watching as Cassian tries to rub his hands on his pants, and-

“Oh god, don’t tell me you went in that drawer,” Han says, and Jyn is trying to not laugh as Cassian whirls on him, ready to yell- “God, Chewie warned me once to never touch that drawer… I should have listened.”  


The scream Cassian lets out…

Both Han and Jyn are still laughing as he runs off the ship, screaming for a medic.


	35. walking in on the other jerking off

Jyn can hear the fresher going, but doesn’t think much of it. It’s a small ship, only two stalls, and given that the flight back to base is only six hours, and it will me morning when they arrive, they all need to sleep now. 

Jyn is far too disgusting from the mud and swamp of the planet they were just on to sleep like this, so she has to shower. It isn’t the first time she has showered at the same time as someone else - there’s a wall between the stall, and doors, and a lock to keep it shut, not that she’s afraid of someone else walking in on her.

It’s probably Bodhi. Baze and Chirrut had showered immediately, both having fallen into a bit of bog on their way back, and Bodhi had been stuck on the ship, working on one of the drives and getting himself covered in grease and oil.

She hasn’t seen Cassian since they made it back to the ship, but he is likely already asleep, if he isn’t sending a preliminary report back to base. Bodhi, then, and really, again, it doesn’t matter. She just wants to get clean.

She’s quiet as she shuts the door behind her, quiet as she goes into the open stall, and she’s undressed, about to reach to turn the water on, when she hears it. They have an actual water fresher, a rarity only allowed because it’s an older model, so the noise from the fresher is pretty loud, but she knows that sound.

She knows exactly what it is.

For starters, it’s not Bodhi. Bodhi’s voice is much higher pitched in general. That’s Cassian in the next stall… and it’s not a groan from the hot water hitting sore muscles, nor is it a moan from exhaustion or finally feeling clean. No, that’s a gasp from pleasure, and a word, he’s saying something, something under his breath.

She waits, frozen, and maybe she should just get redressed, maybe she should leave, maybe she should go back and open and close the door loudly, or maybe-

_ “Jyn, fuck, Jyn…”  
_

That’s her name. He’s  _moaning_  her name, begging, pleading, and she’s still frozen, frozen naked in the fresher, trying to decide…

She could go in there and join him, or she could disappear, or she could just… invite him to join her.

She unlocks her door and opens it just a few inches, so that if he wanted to, Cassian could come right in. That would be his choice. Moving back to the fresher itself, she turns on the water, and lets out a sigh of relief. The movement in the stall next to her pauses, and there’s no more noise, but he also isn’t running away. She just… has to wait.

The water gets warm enough for her to stand under it, and Jyn leans against the wall of the stall, facing towards the door itself. She wants for him to come to her, wants him to see, wants him to know..

Fuck, how many times has she touched herself in this very stall, thinking of him?

“Cassian,” she gasps, and her hands are only just sliding down her body, down between her legs, and when her fingers run over her clit, she lets out another shuttered breath. “Fuck, Cass…”  


Something in the next stall is knocked over, and she wants to stop, to ask if he’s okay, but she clearly has his attention… so she won’t stop. One hand plucks at her nipples, the other between her thighs, and she lets out another moan, and she imagines him walking in, him falling down on his knees, pressing his face between her thighs…

“Fuck, Cassian, please,” she begs, and she can hear a sound on the other side of the wall, like he just hit his hand on the stall…   


“Please, please,” she gasps again, and-  


The sound of the door unlocking next to hers comes, and then her door is opening. He’s standing there, eyes wide, cock hard, and she… 

“Anything you want,” he says, his voice sounding very resolute. She reaches her hand towards him, drawing him in, and when their lips press together under the stream of water, her hand is replaced with his, and she can feel just how badly he wants her.


	36. walking in on the other jerking off + getting fucked over a desk or table

Cassian knows that this is his room. It has his name on the door and everything. This is 100% his room… except that his bed currently has a woman in it, only wearing his shirt, and her legs are spread, fingers rocking inside of her, like she’s chasing something. His mouth goes dry and he freezes, looking her over, from the way her lips are parted, to how there’s a bit of sweat on her brow, to how hard her nipples are against the shirt, and even down to…

Well, she has three fingers curled inside of her, the other hand rubbing furiously at her clit, and she looks close, eyes closed and hips rocking with her fingers, and he thinks it might be rude to interrupt her, but -  _this is his room_.

“What are you doing?”

Jyn’s hands immediately jerk away from herself, and she sits up, breathing hard. His shirt falls down just enough that he can see the pink on her chest, can see her embarrassment, and she sputters to find an answer, but he didn’t really need to ask. She had been touching herself, fingering herself, getting herself off in his bed. 

“You couldn’t wait for me?”  


His words might sound accusatory, but the look in his eye says that she’ll pay for that in the best possible way. The door shuts behind him, and his hands reach down to his pants, tugging at the belt. He doesn’t remove his blaster holster, doesn’t pull off his shirt, just pushes down his pants enough that he can free his cock, stroke it a few times.

She still hasn’t said anything, and he walks towards her, his eyes trailing over her body, from how her legs are still spread open to how hard she’s breathing. He doesn’t even try to hide how much he wants her, and he strokes himself again, watching how her eyes drift to his cock.

He thinks about making her suck it, pulling her out of the bed and onto her knees, but he has a better thought, a better idea.

“Keep going.”  


Her eyes drop down for a moment, down towards her lower body, and her fingers go to touch herself - he doesn’t want something slow and seductive. He wants her to cum.

“You heard me. Keep going.”  


Her hands go back to where they were, and she lays back on the bed, head turned so she can look at him, and he strokes himself, watching her finger herself to an orgasm. She’s trying to drag it out, to tease him, and he suspects now that she had  _wanted_  to be caught, because she’s clearly already on edge.

He releases himself and swats away her fingers, instead slipping his hand inside, and he goes quickly, two, three, and then four fingers. She gasps at that, but doesn’t pull away, and her hands go to her breasts instead, the fabric damp now from the moisture from her cunt. His thumb rolls over her clit and her hips jerk, but he curls his fingers in, fights that spot.

It only takes a few strokes, and then she’s tightening around him, trying to pull away, the pressure too much, but he strokes her through it, through her orgasm, his thumb rolling at her clit all the while. When she eventually rolls onto her side, gasping for air, his hands go to her hips, hauling her up out of the bed.

Jyn takes a few uneasy steps, but he’s right there with her, bending her over the desk at the foot of the bed, and in seconds, he’s buried inside of her. They both let out a groan, Jyn from overstimulation and him from the tight heat of her, and then he starts, fucking her, fucking her hard. Her hands reach, reach for the other side, for something to grab onto, but there’s nothing there for her, just the front and back of the desk, and her hands have to grab onto that, to hold herself there, her feet pushing her onto her tiptoes.

“Going to just start without me,” he says, and his hand tugs her shirt upwards so he can slap a hand over her ass. She lets out a sob in response, but he doesn’t stop. She knows what to say to make this stop, to slow this down. “Can’t even wait for me to get back here-”  


He slaps her ass again, and he feels it, feels her cunt tightening around him, already close to another. Both of his hands go to her hips, and he hoists her up higher onto the desk, so her feet aren’t even touching the ground. His knees bang against the side of it, and he lifts her again so her knees are on the desk now, and he can tug her hips backwards, so she’s balanced carefully on the edge, relying on him to keep her from falling.

A few more thrusts, and he lets out a groan, cumming hard into her. He slides his hand down around her hip, though, and rolls her clit with three fingers, working her into another orgasm. They both groan together, and when he finally slides out, both of their slick is on the inside of her thighs.

They both let out a sigh of relief as he helps her down, and Jyn leans forward further onto the desk, laying there for a moment, head twisted to the side. His hand runs into her hair, smoothing it down, and his voice is soft, pressing his lips to her neck.

“Better?”  


She had asked for this, had needed this, and he was always happy to oblige. She would always willingly return the favor when needed.

“Much.”


	37. coming untouched and/or early + angry sex

Cassian is ready to kill, to defend himself, to defend his friends, his team, his  _family_ , but Jyn? Jyn doesn’t even know what happened, but just from the look on his face, Jyn had been ready to march straight into command and threaten the first person that looked at them funny. It had taken him all of two seconds to throw her over his shoulder, but that didn’t stop her from reaching down and grabbing his blaster out of the holster, pointing it towards high command.

“Put me down!” she yells, and he knows better, instead heads towards his room, despite her kicking and yelling. “Put me down! I’m going to shoot that smug look off all their karking faces!”  


She yells until they reach his room, and he shuts the door behind them before he finally puts her down. She still has the blaster in one hand, and a truncheon in the other, and she looks ready for war. She doesn’t even  _know_  what happened, but already, she’s ready to fight for him.

“What did he say,” she demands, and he’s glad that he’s between her and the door, because he’s pretty sure if he moved, she would fly through it. “Don’t give me any bantha shit. I know he said something. What was it.”  


She doesn’t even know who the  _he_  is, just that he had a meeting with a General for a performance review. Obviously, it hadn’t gone well, but that didn’t mean he was in any trouble. In fact, the review was getting him promoted, but what he had said about the team-

“I’m getting promoted,” Cassian says, but that doesn’t seem to slow Jyn down.  


“I saw your face. You may be getting promoted, but he said something. What was it.”  


She’s not going to let this go, even though he wishes she would. Then again, the fact that she’s ready to fight for him, without even knowing why… 

“Kark them,” Cassian says, and he reaches out, grabs her by the hips, and twists them around. Her back hits the door, and he steps between her legs, anchoring her there so she can’t get away. “Kark all of them. They’d be nothing without us, and they know it.”  


Murder is still in her eyes, but lust is there as well, and he’s pissed, and she’s pissed, and fuck, he loves when they’re pissed together. Loves how they fight together, loves how they act as one, how they can destroy entire planet destroyers when they’re both angry enough.

And now, he’s going to fuck her with that anger as well.

“Kark you,” Jyn breathes out, and she kisses him, kisses him with tongue and teeth, the battle still alive in her. The blaster hits the ground, as does her truncheon, and her fingers reach into his hair, tugging on it, tugging him in to kiss her harder.  


It’s a fumbling of hands, fingers, even toes, everything to undress themselves just enough that he can come free of his pants, and he’s so turned on, so hard, he’s not sure how long he’ll last. The image of her ready to fight, ready to defend him so easily, it hits so many things he never even imagined dreaming of before, and when she has one leg free of her pants, the rest of it danging from her knee, she strokes his cock, as if she’s trying to get him hard.

He cums immediately, though, and it hits him so hard he almost stumbles forward. He can’t believe… he wasn’t even in her, and already, the tension from the meeting, the fight, the fight in her, he had lost control. Shame filled him almost immediately, and he-

“Fuck, Jyn, I’m-”  


She’s frozen still, his cum all over her hand, and he takes a step back, embarrassment clear in his eyes, but then she’s-

“ _Watch_.”  


He does, his eyes flicking up, and he sees his cum on her fingers, on her lower belly, and she touches herself, touches herself like his cum is actually lube, and fuck it’s so hot. Her fingers rub it against her slit, onto her clit, and her fingers slide inside of her. 

He already feels weak from the release he just had, but Cassian then falls to his knees, reaching out, swatting her fingers away. His cum, on her, on her fingers, on her cunt, and he reaches in, can feel it on her clit. Her head hits the door and he looks up to see her body relaxing, and he-

His cock is already responding to this, and while he can’t believe, can’t even karking believe he just did that… Jyn doesn’t seem to mind.


	38. extensive, prolonged make-outs

They’re so close, only a breath away, and Jyn can’t stand it any longer. How long have his eyes been on her? All day, at least, and so close… they had kissed earlier, but it had only been for a half second, a blink and you miss it, but now…

No one can judge her. Not when he looks at her like this. Not when he looks like  _that_. His hair is combed, neat, his beard only a few days growth, how she likes it best, and there’s a piece of his hair that just barely keeps falling forward, and she…

His eyes go to her lips again, and her tongue flicks out over them, wetting them a touch. His eyes follow that as well, and she knows what he’s doing before he does it, knows he’s going to kiss her.

His lips press to hers, and it’s sweet, it’s almost gentle, and then he’s pulling back. There’s a smile on her lips, and she smiles back, and he goes to turn, to pick up his cup-

How long has she been thinking about this? She doesn’t want to wait any longer.

Jyn quickly shifts, brushing his arm aside from his cup, so that she’s no longer in her chair, and is instead sitting onto his lap. Cassian’s eyes go wide immediately, but he doesn’t protest, his arm instead going around her middle, and when she sits down, both of her legs together, the skirt of the borrowed dress keeping her from straddling his lap, he pulls her close, hand pressing into her lower back.

“Cassian, I-”  


His lips press to hers, silencing any thoughts, any words, and she wants to tell him how she feels, how he makes her feel. She wants to whisper to him about the future, about their future, about what she wants from life, wants from him, but he steals it all, steals every breath, every dream, and tells her his own.

His hand comes up to her face, cradling it, and his tongue presses between hers, drawing her in slowly. He’s seducing her with a kiss, stealing her heart, making and creating all with these movements, and she clings to him, her fingers tugging at the front of his shirt.

They cling to one another, kissing slow, pressing kisses to the others’ face, cheeks, lips, jaw, and when Jyn pulls away for air, Cassian presses kisses to her fingers. They meet again, and his hand slides up her spine, holding her to him close.

The noise of the rest of the world has drowned out, so all they see, all they know, all that exists is the other, and when he finally pulls away, Cassian’s eyes are slow to open, but they sparkle, sparkle as they look at her.

“I love you, my Jyn,” he whispers, and she smiles, smiles back at him as he leans in to kiss her again. “Truly, eternally, until-”  


“Can you two stop already?” calls out an intoxicated Han Solo, and Jyn doesn’t even look over, doesn’t even notice him, although Cassian does throw up a rude hand gesture. “I mean, I know it’s your wedding and all, but I’m pretty sure I paid for the two of you to have a nice hotel room, and-”  


“I paid for it,” Leia says, and her hands are on her hips, ring on her finger. Their wedding is not for another few months, and it’s Leia’s dress that Jyn is wearing, the original wedding dress planned… well, Leia will purchase another, and Jyn needed one immediately.  


After all, when Jyn agreed to marry Cassian, he wasn’t wasting any time, and when the last of their friends had arrived from across the galaxy, they had been married, right then and there.

“It’s my wedding, Han,” Jyn says, and she’s smiling against Cassian’s temple, a blush on her cheeks. “I can fuck him right here if I-”  


“Please don’t,” Kay drawls from where he sits beside Cassian, his entire form turned away, trying to apparently ignore them. “I fear I shall have to suffer this for many decades to come.”  


Jyn laughs and turns back to Cassian, and his lips catch hers in another kiss.

“I love you,” she whispers as she pulls away, and he smiles, grabbing her hand, and pressing another kiss to the ring that he had placed there.  


“And I you.”


	39. surprise discovery of an overly-sensitive body part

They had wrestled their way into this position, more or less, with Cassian pinning Jyn down onto the bed, Jyn trying to use her legs to take him down and get on top, and Cassian grabbing her wrists, keeping her from being able to swing at him. It’s one of the hottest things about their relationship - when Jyn just wants to fight, to grapple, to work out some energy, Cassian is always more than happy to do it, while naked. On the plus side, his hand to hand is a lot better than it used to be. On the negative side, he may have actually been hit where it hurt accidentally a few times…  


Not this time, though. It was rare that he was able to pin her, normally Jyn being the one to end up on top, taking her time to rock her hips and make him beg, but this time, he has her flat on her back, her legs thrown over her arms, and his hands on her wrists, keeping her unable to pull away, to get away.

Well, she could get away, with just one word, but right now, her head is thrown back, and she’s gasping with every thrust. 

His hands move higher up her arms, to her elbows, and then higher, forcing her legs up his own arms and over his shoulders. She’s half bent into two, and he’s so fucking deep, Jyn is on the verge of screaming, and both of them are breathing hard, so hard.

“Fuck,” she gasps, and Cassian rocks harder in response. “Fuck, fuck fuck, I’m going to-”  


He lets go of one arm, his hand going between them, and his fingers slide along her slit, trying to find the little bud that he just… he rocks his hips again, pressing deep inside of her, and his fingers find it, roll around her clit, and she gasps, now freed hand looking for something to grab. She grabs at the sheets, and his waist, at - her nails connect with the back of his leg, just above his knee, and his hips stutter.

They both freeze, and Cassian’s hips jerk again, and Jyn is aware how close he is to cumming, and cumming hard. She hadn’t even done anything, was on edge herself, but Cassian was breathing harder than her at this point.

Her nails trail along the back of his leg again, almost like a tease, and he jerks his hips again, his face pinching like he’s truly struggling.

“Do that, fuck…”  


He rubs at her clit, three fingers now, and Jyn is over the edge before she can analyze anything, cumming hard around his cock. Her nails press back into the back of his leg, and she feels him press into her three more times before falling forward, his own orgasm hitting him.

They’re both left gasping, Jyn still half bent and twisted as Cassian lays half on top of her, and they both manage to move enough for Cassian to curl around her, his arm slung over her waist. She’s still breathing hard when her own hand reaches back, and she runs her hand down the back of his legs, nails barely teasing. 

She can feel him clenching up behind her, muscles going tense, before he forces himself to relax.

“What was that?” she breathes out, and Cassian laughs against her throat, his voice thick as he looks for words.  


“I didn’t even realize that I was… “

She finds the words for him, rolling over so that she’s pressing against him, her nose brushing against his. “Sensitive. What you mean is sensitive.”

His eyes are closed, and she watches them, watches the small ticks that show a whole array of emotions, and then finally, a nod.

“Want me to…” her fingers run down the back of his legs, down to the back of his knee, and his lips part, taking in a breath. He’s still worn out from the sex, his skin covered in a layer of sweat from their earlier grappling, and now, he looks at peace, in a place of bliss. Her fingers trail back up, and he smiles.  


Next time… she might need to explore a little more. See what else is sensitive…


	40. surprise discovery of an overly-sensitive body part +  being shy about sex

“What do you like?”

His words are half muffled against her neck, and Jyn isn’t even sure what he’s asking, her fingers in his hair, and she tugs on it a little, forcing his face back to looking at hers. His lips are swollen from all of their kissing, and she imagines that hers are as well, but that’s fine with Jyn. They’ve been teasing at this line for months, and tonight, they have long enough to fully consummate this relationship.

“What? I like  _you_.”  


That should be answer enough, but Cassian is blinking at her, like that isn’t the answer he was expecting, and he shakes his head again.

She cuts him off with a kiss, and that’s enough for the moment, as they pull at each others clothes, until eventually, they’re both naked, breathing hard, their legs rubbing together, and their hands trailing over backs, over skin. He hasn’t touched anywhere too intimate yet, but when he does-

His hand brushes along the side of her breast, and she moans immediately, but then grabs at his hand, sliding it lower. He pulls away from her lips long enough to look at her, and she shakes her head, trying to get his hands lower, so he can finally be in her, and-

“Why are you trying to rush this?” he asks.  


She blinks, then shakes her head. This wasn’t rushing… they had been dancing around this for months. “What? No, I just want you in me.”

She wants him to come back into her space, to finally be inside of her, but he shakes his head, drawing back. Her arm goes across her chest almost on instinct, so he can’t even see, and she reaches for a blanket, trying to cover herself.

His hand goes over hers, trying to stop her, and his eyes, they stare straight into her soul.

“Why are you covering yourself?”  


She looks up at him, trying to be open and honest, but her cheeks blush, and she doesn’t have an answer. She doesn’t want to shy away, wants to be able to share with him, to show him… but the truth is, she’s vulnerable, exposed, and the idea of him touching her, touching over her… she doesn’t know what to do with that.

“It’s just.. I’ve never been with someone that… I don’t know…”  


He nods, leaning forward, and his kiss is soft and gentle, him pressing forward until Jyn is laying on her back, and he hovers over her, his lips just barely pulling away.

“Look at me,” he insists, and she does, looks up at him, looks at his eyes, looks at the man she trusts. “It has  _never_  been like this for me either… which is why I want to take my time. I want to learn you. I want to  _worship_  you…”  


She lets him, lets him move lower, with his hands, with his mouth. When he reaches her breasts, he licks, sucks, nips, and with each new touch, Jyn is writhing under him, her fingers digging into his back, his hair. Every time he dips lower, she learns more about herself, about what she enjoys…

And when she’s left panting, Jyn is ready, ready to flip Cassian onto his back.

She learns a few things about him as well…


	41. angry sex

He’s not even sure why they’re fighting, how it really began, but now, Jyn is refusing to talk to him, stomping through the hanger deck, heading out to their ship. She’s ready to fight, and everyone seems to know it, running out of the way. It makes him mad that  _she’s_  mad, because - he didn’t do anything wrong! He would readily take the blame, always feels himself layered with guilt, but this time, he doesn’t know what happened!

They had just… they had breakfast, they got their briefing for the mission, and then… she had stomped out, ready to murder. He doesn’t know, can’t understand, can’t explain-

And now he’s mad. He’s mad as he throws their packs into the ship, and no one wants to come near them, like they can sense the tension, the anger, the fact that they’re both ready to kill one another.

They’ve come this close before, but she had been heartsick, and they had Chirrut there to calm her fists, and Bodhi looking at him like he might cry if they yelled again, and Baze watching like he knew everything, and - 

Now, it’s just them. It’s just them as they pull away from Home One. It’s just them as he slams his hand on the hyperdrive, turns on autopilot, and goes to find her.

“So, you wanna talk about it?” she asks before he can even get words out, and he gives a nod, lips pressing together as he glances down at the ground.  


“Are you actually going to share, or just continue to stomp around like you’re in charge?”  


He doesn’t pull rank, never pulls rank, but he might be about to if she continues acting like she’s ready to destroy the ship around her.

She whirls on him, finger pointed at him, and he might fear that finger more than he fears a blaster, except the rage in her… she wants to fight? He’ll give her a fight.

“You called me Erso in there. Not my rank. I  _earned_  that rank.”  


She had earned that rank, had fought for it, had fought for her team to not be in trouble, for Cassian to not be in trouble, and ever since Scarif, she had fought every day, had earned her rank, and her promotion, and the one after that.

She had laughed about it, as well, had made a joke out of it, like it didn’t matter. Clearly, it did.

“And? I’m your superior officer. I don’t have to call you by your rank-”  


“You don’t have to, but you call everyone else by their rank, never their last name.”  


He thinks about it for a long moment, and yeah… yeah he does. It’s a sign of respect, of distancing himself, a way for him to keep everyone at a distance. They were simply their rank, never a person, because if they were a person, they mattered.

If he says their name, they matter.

He wants to deflate, to pull her close, to whisper to her that she matters, and he has no right for her to matter to him, but -

She wants to fight, and he’s willing to give her one.

“I’m your superior officer,” he retreats, and he moves towards one of the kits, one that’s used for first aid. It holds a number of long bandages, and he unwraps one, then wraps it around his hands. He then tosses it to Jyn, and she gives a nod, because yeah, she seems to need this, wraps her hands as well.  


They’re still wearing the rest of their clothes, him in his jacket, her in her vest and scarf, but that doesn’t seem to matter right now.

The first swing comes hard, and he realizes immediately that she isn’t pulling them. She isn’t going to pull back if she connects. She swings again and he sidesteps, then again, and he uses her momentum against her, turns her so she takes a few staggering steps as she goes by.

Rage seems to fill her, because she turns immediately, fire in her eyes, and he just grins, giving her a nod.

The next few minutes are a number of swings, Jyn still pissed, and Cassian… he lets himself get pissed as well. He gets mad at himself, mad at himself for letting her in, for hurting her, for not realizing that the rank mattered. Getting angry, he gets reckless like she does, and neither of them manage to connect with a face, but he manages to grab her twice, and she gets a good kick on him, bringing him to one knee.

He’s mad, she’s mad, and he - he lunges for her, uses his weight against her, and she isn’t expecting it, because they’re both hitting the hard ground, his weight over her, pinning her.

“Let me up,” she snaps, and her hands hit at his chest, at his shoulder, and she doesn’t go for his face and eyes like she would in a real fight, so he appreciates that, but he doesn’t let her up.  


“Kark you. Admit you lost.”  


He’s never normally so rough with her, would never say something like admitting loss, and she - he expects something else, anything else, maybe for him to get hit or kicked where it hurts most, but instead, she kisses him. 

She kisses him, and he… he’s a weak man. He kisses her back.

The next few minutes are a rough fight to pull off clothes, his jacket, her vest, his shirt, her shirt, and they’re both half naked, clothing still wrapped around feet and wrists, but she’s kissing him again, his body rocking into hers. They have to talk about this, have to talk about-

“Harder, harder,” she gasps, and her feet are tangled in his pants, unable to shift the angle, but he can help, hitching her knee higher up his side. She wants more, though, and he rips away from her kiss and pulls back just enough to flip her over, onto her knees. 

He slams back into her, and she lets out a sob, his pace now clearly reaching what she wants. He pushes a hand onto her shoulderblades, shoving her face down onto the tangle of their shirts, and he fucks, fucks her without thinking, his fingers digging into her hip, his body rocking harder and faster until he cums. 

His body shakes, hips jerking as he finds his release, and Jyn is… Jyn is shaking under him. She hadn’t reached an orgasm, not yet, but she’s about to.

He rolls her back onto her back, hand sliding down her body, and he easily finds her clit. Rather than being rough with her, though, as she seems to expect… 

Leaning down, Cassian kisses her, long and slow. Her body relaxes under him, legs falling apart, and her fingers go into his hair, holding him close. He rolls her clit under his fingers, using his cum to get her off, and when she cums, he catches each sigh with his kiss.

“I called you Erso because you’re more than your rank to me,” he murmurs later into her hair. They’re still laying on the floor, unable to move, not wanting to leave this moment, her head laying on his upper arm, and she turns to look at him, the question there. “Everyone else, they’re just a rank, just their station, their job. Not you. You could never be just another rank to me, but if it matters that much-”  


“I thought… that maybe you disagreed with me being an Officer.”  


He had helped her study, so why-

“Jyn… I recommended you for that promotion. When Draven told me they were making you a Captain, I’ve never been so proud.”  


She smiled at that, swallowing her emotion, and gave a nod. He was still her superior officer, now a Major since Scarif, but Jyn… Jyn had earned that rank, deserved it.

“And this? The fight, the-”  


“You clearly needed to fight it out,” he says, and his smile is a little teasing. “And it ended up rather enjoyable.”  


He kisses her again, and he tastes nothing but happiness, the anger gone.


	42. one person clothed and the other naked

This shouldn’t be so unbelievably fucking hot, but it is. It really fucking is. He’s just  _showering_ , and it’s honestly not a big deal, because they’ve showered together, he has fucked her in that very fresher, but somehow, sitting there, sitting on the sink, watching him shower…

And he’s just in there, chatting with her, asking her about her mission, about her day, about her plans for the rest of the day… it shouldn’t be so hot.

But it is. It’s fucking filthy, the things she thinks about, and she’s already dressed, had slept on the ride back to Base One, had even showered when she first woke up, so there’s no point in undressing again, no point in joining him.

Besides, he’s just trying to get started with his day, trying to finish showering and washing his hair, and he’s-

She catches it for a second through the weird piece of covering, which they can see through, only just barely. She can see the lines on his torso, the scars from Scarif, but she can’t see the fine details…. she caught that, though, the way he glances at her, and she realizes… he’s watching her watch him.

He  _knows_  that she’s watching him.

Two can play that game.

It doesn’t take her getting undressed for her to touch herself, nor even expose any real skin, and when she unhooks her belt, Jyn slides her hand down the front of her pants, searching down to the heat and the wetness. A sigh escapes her immediately as she connects with her clit, and she lets her head fall backwards, allowing Cassian the opportunity to look at her, to really look at her.

She hears the sliding of the pieces of the fresher, and yeah, he’s definitely looking, looking to see where her hand is, what she’s doing now.

“Get in here.”  


His voice is rough, and thick, and Jyn looks up at him, looks up to see him standing there, body pressed against the door, and his cock is hard, pressing against the door, like it’s trying to tease her in.

She shakes her head, smirking a little, until he steps out, reaching for her.

There isn’t enough time for Jyn to climb off the sink and pull her hand out, and in two steps, he his hands on her hips, picking her up over his shoulder.

“These are my favorite boots!” she shrieks, and he has one hand on her ass, the other on her boots, tugging them off.  


“You have thirty seconds to get naked before I’m throwing you in there,” he says, and she’s still laughing, trying to tug at the front of her vest.  


“Cassian, put me down, just-”  


“ _One-”_


	43. being shy about sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the morning after for the next ficlet, but is meant to be read first. so, read this, then go ahead and hit next chapter!

No one knows. Jyn knows that, logically, knows that no one else knows, but how could everyone on base  _not_  know? They were just going about their lives as though nothing had changed, except that last night,  _everything_  had changed. Everything about her world, her life, her future… her cheeks burned even now, and she ducked her head down deeper into her sweater, thankful for the early morning chill to allow her to wear it with her vest.

The mess hall is filled with people, another mission freshly returned adding to their numbers, but there’s a spot for Jyn at their usual table. No one would ever willingly sit with Baze, the man making even the most war-hardened turn and run, but Jyn knows it’s all an act. She grabs her cup of caff and sits down, looking up just in time to see Bodhi and Cassian sitting down across from her, extra breakfast on Cassian’s tray.

He always grabs extra for her, always insists that she eats breakfast, and she always tries to refuse, but she eats it anyways, eats it because he asks, eats it because-

Their eyes catch for a long moment, and if it wasn’t for Bodhi nudging Cassian to catch his attention… her cheeks are on fire, a blush spreading down below her scarf, and it’s a good thing she’s wearing it, covering the marks his mouth had left over her skin. Her body still aches, aches from the night they had spent together, and everything around her feels like it’s in flames.

“I have to go,” she says, and Bodhi looks up startled, because normally, Jyn would never slip away. Cassian as well, there’s concern on his lips, but she gives him a smile, a smile that has Bodhi prodding at him and asking what happened…  


She’s trying to get away, to slip out of the room unnoticed, but Cassian…

“I’ll tell you later,” he promises to Bodhi, and in seconds, he’s just behind her, only a few steps away.  


He had left her room early, left her bed to go to a meeting, and she hadn’t seen him since, hadn’t seen him since he had kissed her long and slow before physically leaving her bed, and now that she sees him again… she can feel him, can almost feel his hands ghosting over her skin, his lips tracing over her neck, and when her hand curls around the handle to a storage room, his fingers ghost over her back, urging her inside.

She tugs the door open, steps in, and turns to look at him. The door shuts behind him, and the light above flickers, reminding her of a different time when they just stared at one another.

She hadn’t kissed him then, hadn’t kissed him for nearly a year after that day, but she had kissed him now, had tasted his lips, and looking at him now… she wants to taste him again.

“You can’t look at me like that,” he breathes out, and she lets out a huff, because how can he even say that when one look from him sets her on fire?  


“Me? No, you’re the one that-”  


“You’re in my skin,” he breathes out, and his body presses against hers, presses her to a set of shelves, and it would take two seconds for her arms and legs to wrap around him, to feel him pressing against her. “I can’t stop thinking about… about…”  


“About the unbelievable sex?” she supplies, and she’s so hot, she thinks she might be sweating. Every place he had touched, kissed, sucked, pressed his fingers into, it all aches, aches for him to touch her again, for him to soothe the desire inside of her.  


“Mmm…”   


His eyes are trailing over her again, like he’s thinking about it now, and she remembers, remembers how he had made her body soar, how he had sucked and licked at her clit, making her cry as she clenched around his fingers, remembers the feeling of him inside of her as she rode him, forced words from his mouth with her body that were filled with praise and secret confessions. She remembers how they had clung to one another, promising to never let the other go, promising that this…

“Stop looking at me like that,” she hisses, but there’s a smile on her lips, and she’s tugging the scarf from where it’s tucked in. She is on fire, and she’s definitely sweating, and he… he’s looking at her like a piece of meat, and she wants him to devour her. “How am I supposed to go about my day with you looking at me like that?”  


He laughs, tugging the scarf the rest of the way out, exposing the mark on her throat, the one had had left with his tongue, and she moans as he kisses it, softly, then kisses on her shoulder. He’s crowding her in where she stands, but she doesn’t care - anyone else, she would throw them off, but no one else is like him. Only him.

“We have a mission briefing,” she moans, and his hands are pressing into her back, and she…  


“I know,” he murmurs, “but your blush is…”  


“Yours as well.”  


They pull away after a long moment, Jyn leaving the room first, and when they sit across from one another… well, she tries to not catch his eye, because every time she does, her skin burns again, and he shifts, trying not to smile…

She has never been shy about sex, but the thought of having him again, her skin burns once more…

And she will have him again.

After all, he had whispered he loved her, and tonight? She plans on telling him that she feels the same.


	44. biting and/or marking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the prequel to the previous chapter, but is meant to be read second, so make sure you already read last chapter before reading this one!

The way he’s looking at her… Jyn knows it can’t just be the adrenaline, can’t just be the cold, can’t just be - he’s looking at her like he’s thinking about it, thinking about the turbolift, and it has been a year, over a year, and they haven’t talked about it, because Jyn can’t think about the losses, but - 

She can’t forget the kiss, can’t forget the way that they had stumbled out together, ready to face death. Now… now, she wants to face life with him, and when he looks at her like that…

Inviting him back to her room is arguably a mistake, but he says yes, and when the door shuts, neither of them speaks. She knows he’s waiting, waiting for her to explain why she invited him here, waiting for her to speak, to describe, to start the conversation… when she looks at him, though, it’s more of that look, that look that says he knows her, that he reads her, that he understands her.

It’s hypnotic, the way he looks at her, and she’s caught in his web, being drawn in. When she presses her body to his, his hands find a place on her lower back… It’s like a dream, it isn’t real, but it is, it’s real as his lips capture hers, it’s real as her hands get lost in his jacket, it’s real as his face presses to her neck, it’s real as he whispers-

“Fuck, are you real?”  


She can only laugh as she steps back, and it takes all of her courage, but she unbuttons her vest, tugs her shirt over her head, unhooks her belt, and when she’s standing in front of him naked, his eyes locked on hers, all she can do is smile.

“Is this real enough?”  


He seems to be frozen in place, his eyes wide, and she takes a step forward, forcing herself to keep her arms at her side until she’s able to reach out, to touch him. Her fingers start at his belt, unhooking it, and when her fingers go to release the holster on his thigh, it seems to spur him to action.

His hands go under the backs of her thighs as he strides forward, and her body is pressed against the wall when he finishes, his body still clothed. His lips press to hers in an instant, and she moans into the kiss, moans as his lips move lower, to her jaw, to her throat. She’s breathing hard as he sucks at the skin, and when he pulls back, he lets out a curse.

“I shouldn’t leave a mark,” he mutters, but Jyn tugs at his hair, forcing his eyes away from her neck, so that they can stare into one another’s souls.  


“Leave a mark,” she insists, and her breath is shaking once more, her body on fire as his hands slide down the back of her legs, using the pressure of his hips against hers to keep her pressed to the wall. “Leave a mark so everyone knows.”  


He groans, leaning forward, and he kisses her again, kisses her long and slow, and she can feel him hard between her thighs, can feel that he wants her, but he seems to be in no rush to move any further. He has barely touched her anywhere intimate, hasn’t even really looked since she initially stripped, and she just told him to leave marks…

When he pulls away from the wall, it’s a few stumbling steps to get to her bed, and then he sits down, hard. Her legs are on either side of his, and it gives her the perfect leverage, her hands going to his shirt, and they work it up together over his head, his shirt underneath going with it. 

His pants are more difficult, but in between each kiss, they tug at the straps, at his laces, at every part of him, until she swings off his lap so that he can lift his ships, shove them off his body, and onto the ground.

She wants to look, to explore, but instead, he rolls over, grabbing one ankle, and tugging her back to him. There’s a look in his eye that says that he knows what he’s about, knows what he’s up to, and she’s not of a mind to stop him…

He doesn’t end up leaving his mark until she’s riding his cock, and she’s already had two orgasms by that point. Her body feels like it’s falling apart, and the noises from them… they’ve said nothing since she told him to leave his mark on her skin. She wants them to know, wants everyone to know… 

There’s another orgasm building inside of her, and her hips lose their momentum for a moment, only for Cassian’s hands to settle onto her skin, rocking her in time. He has her, has had her this whole time, rising her up, letting her fall, catching her over and over, and she sobs out his name as she cums again, her body half falling forward onto him as he grits his teeth, his lower body tensing.

“I’ve got you,” he murmurs into her hair, and she shakes and spasms above him, his hands slowing her down just enough that he’s still languidly rocking up into her, but not pushing too hard.  


“You always had me,” she gasps into his chest, and his fingers tighten into her skin at that confession.  


Her face turns up just in time to catch his eyes, and he smiles at her, smiles at her so brightly it must hurt - and then he rocks his hips again, a curse escaping him. She thinks he might be in pain, but she knows it to be pleasure when his eyes pinch shut and he gasps as he shifts his hips back down.

“About that mark…” he asks, and it’s through gritted teeth, with his jaw tense, and she wants to kiss it away, to soothe him, but she knows he’s on edge.  


Her body, in contrast, is entirely relaxed, the endorphins running through her, making her practically melt in his hold. She nods a little, her head dropping back down, and her forehead presses to his temple, almost nuzzling against him, trying to soothe him, to soothe the lines in his forehead, the stress in his jaw.

“I’m yours,” she whispers against his ear. “And you’re mine.”  


He nods, and she presses a kiss to his ear, to his cheek, and then back to his lips. He softens just a touch, and then she uses the last of her strength, sitting upright on his cock, her legs shaking as he presses against every sensitive spot deep within her.

“Right here,” she says, and she pulls her hair, lost from it’s bun, over one shoulder. She’s exposing her neck to him, and her hand moves up to touch the spot, where his mouth had ghosted over earlier. “Please?”  


Cassian sits up underneath her, and his hands push him backwards on the bed, so he’s sitting against the wall with Jyn still straddling him. He leans forward, with her settled once again, and presses open mouth kisses to that spot, to every spot around it, from her ear down to her collar bone, and he’s still moving his hips just enough to probably stay hard, but not enough that he’s pushing himself to the edge.

She doesn’t rush him, because something about this night, it’s totally unexpected how this has all turned, and a part of her is scared - scared that this might be it, that this might be everything… and yet, this also feels like a beginning, the first step, the moment where he places a brand on her skin, the same as the one on her soul, and she longs for it, for there to be proof of this night.

“So beautiful,” he murmurs against her skin, and she lets out a sigh of relief, her fingers running into his hair. She’s far from beautiful, knows that, but she feels beautiful in his arms, and this moment, this night, it feels beautiful. In the past… she’s no virgin, has found warmth in the bed of another, but it has never been like this. Before, it was always rough and rushed, but this is languid, this is pleasure, this is intimate and feels like something sacred.  


“Leave a mark,” she urges him, and her fingers curl against his scalp, nails scratching there. “So that I know this isn’t a dream.”  


“This  _is_ a dream,” he groans, and his hips rock up so hard she’s almost shifted off of his lap, save for his fingers pressing against her spin. “You’re a dream, my every dream, my-”  


His words cut off as he presses his teeth against her throat, and she sucks in a breath, the whine high in her throat. She wants to ask what else she is to him, but he lets go, his tongue running over the spot.

“You marked me a long time ago,” he insists, and his hips are moving harder now, his mouth leaving open kisses over the mark, in between words, in between breaths. “Marked my soul, my heart, my purpose. I can’t escape you, can’t escape your eyes, Jyn, fuck-”  


His hips stutter as he thrusts up, and she knows he’s close. There’s enough strength returned to her legs that her toes press into the bed behind her, enough that she can rise up to meet him, and he urges her on with his breathing, with the movement of his arms, rocking her hips with him.

“Jyn, you’re mine,” he begs, and it’s not like before, where he told her, like it was fact - this is a question, a plea, and one hand runs down his back, her nails digging into the skin there.  


“Yours, I’m yours, and you’re mine,” she insists, and she almost cries as his arms wrap around her body, holding her tight to him. “Don’t let me go, don’t ever let-”  


“Yours, always been yours,” he groans into her throat, and she feels the tears against her neck as he presses a kiss to the mark he left. “Yours, fuck, Jyn, Jyn I’m so in love, I need you, I-”

He groans as he cums, and Jyn can feel it, can feel him inside of her, and she rides him through it, rides him until he sags under her, his hold going lax. Her body shifts just enough that she can slide off of him as he softens, and they’re still holding onto one another…

Neither of them speaks as they eventually shift into the bed, and his hold remains, not letting go. She doesn’t clean herself, doesn’t move, and they just stay… stay as his hold tightens, as his lips press to her hair.

They don’t speak as he gets up in the morning to go to work, but they share a kiss, and Jyn… She knows she’ll spend the whole day thinking of this… and wondering what she’ll say when she sees him again.


	45. accidental voyeurism by an outside POV

Poe is followed by the rest of Black Squadron, a grin on his face as they head into the hanger, only for him to freeze. There’s a couple kissing against a stack of containers, and normally, he would give a cheer, perhaps even pull rank to find out why two kids were making out in the corner, except…

Except for starters, given the gray hair on the man, they’re not a pair of kids, or at least he hopes they aren’t because that would be awkward… 

And second of all, something about them, something from how they’re holding one another, it’s familiar. It’s  _too_  familiar. It’s…

“Shit, we gotta go,” he says, and he turns on his heel, because being caught right now looking in, watching as the woman’s leg goes around the man’s waist, how they rock against one another like they’re two teenagers, that could mean certain death.  


“What do you - hey, get it!” Jess says, seeing where his attention was. “Wow, they’re really going at it. Look at the old timer, they’re-”

His hand claps over her mouth, but it’s too late, because a half second later, there’s two blasters pointed at him and the others, and Poe feels his life flash before his eyes.

“Every man for himself,” he says, and he turns to run, before they figure out-  


“Poe Dameron, you get your ass back here!” comes the voice of his Aunt, and he knows he’s dead, but there’s half a chance he might be able to outrun her.  


He’s down the hallway, the rest of Black Squadron still frozen, and kark them. He can put together a new team. He’s not going back for them.

“Who the kriff are you?” comes the voice of Snap, and yeah, he’s a dead man.  


“General Cassian Andor. Laps, now.”  


“Wait, what- how many?”  


“LAPS! NOW!”  


The voice booms, but Poe is still running, because-

“Get the kriff back here, Dameron! I’m going to scrub your eyes out with that bantha shit your dad calls hooch when I catch you!”


	46. talking about (but not having) sex

They’re sitting in his room, her on his bed, him in a chair, staring at one another. Once again, they had gotten carried away, and his hands had been under her shirt, her mouth at his throat, and then - they had frozen, both of them. It kept happening, over and over, and they both know why, but… it’s time to talk about this.

He’s hoping she’ll go first, but Jyn is silent, her eyes going back to her boots, and he can see it, see her walls sliding up into place.

“I’ve never had sex as Cassian Andor.”   


It sounds like the most absurd thing to say, but it’s the truth. He has had sex, had a lot of sex, had sex for fun, even, but it was always undercover, always with someone that didn’t know the real him, always with someone that he would never see again, always with - well, they were probably all dead now. It’s a horrifying confession, that he has never been able to-

“I’ve never had sex as Jyn Erso.”  


That’s not really a surprise coming from her, because… she had spent her entire life on the run. The last time she had truly used that name, before she had been grabbed from Wobani, was when her family was still whole, still together. Still…

“No, I mean… I’ve never… it was a cover, always a cover.”  


Jyn gives a nod towards him, but she isn’t looking up, and she licks her lips. “Sex can be… a way of bartering, or a way to pass the time. I’m saying, I’ve never had sex before I looked at someone and thought… I want to have sex with them.”

Looking at her, he can tell she doesn’t mean she was forced, not with the way she’s carefully wording it, but she does mean that sex was a tool, a weapon, and she had used it. She had never had sex because she cared for someone before.

Not like with him. 

“We never  _have_  to have sex,” he says suddenly, and he can’t believe he’s saying it, but it’s true. He would love to feel that connection with her, that release, but really, he’s tired. He’s so tired, and forcing himself, forcing either of them… he would be content just to be near her, to let her know that he loves her.  


“I know that,” she says, her brow wrinkled, and she shakes her head. “I want… I’ve never before, but I want…”  


“You want to have sex?” he offers, but she shakes her head.  


“You. I want  _you_.”

That’s relatively straight forward, and whatever tension he has in himself, it fades. A smile slides over his lips, and he nods, nods because she’s finally looking at him with that confession, and yeah… yeah he gets that.

“I want you as well,” he says, his voice shaking a little.  


She smiles back at him, and he climbs out of the chair, coming towards the bed. Her eyes go wide, and he shakes his head slightly, trying to explain - he sits down beside her, reaches for her hand, and she takes it. Their shoulders are touching, faces just inches apart, and he looks at her, truly looks into her eyes, looks into a part of her soul that only he gets to see.

“I love you,” he whispers. He has said it before, but only a few times, only in breathed out confessions when they feared for their lives. This was not an adrenaline fueled utterance - this was the truth. “I want to spend the rest of my life fighting beside you, fighting with you, fighting for you.”  


She nods, and smiles a little, and yeah, she feels the same way about him. “Yeah, me too, I… I do. I want that too.”

He nods, his free hand coming up to touch the side of her face, to cradle her cheek. “And I want you. I want you so badly, I look across and see you standing there, and it aches. My soul aches, because I need to touch you, to feel you in my bones, and I-”

“Yes,” she breathes out, and he can see a blush running over her cheeks, down the side of her neck, and he wants to chase it, to follow, to see where the blush leads.  


“There’s no rush,” he breathes out, and there isn’t, but the way she’s looking at him…  


His hand slides lower, down to the side of her neck, and she freezes, and he- his hand slides back up, fingers going into her hair. There really wasn’t a rush, no matter how much he wanted her.

“We’ll take our time,” he whispers, and he leans in towards her, his lips almost touching hers. He lets her take the time to respond, to unfreeze, and she does so quickly, her lips pressing to his.  


It’s soft and sweet, a promise of what is to come, of what they can have, and he pulls away after a few seconds, looks at her like she hung the stars in the sky, because she did. She is his star to follow home, every time.

Her eyes open eventually, and he smiles at her, causing her to smile back. They’re in no rush, not even a little-

“When we do have sex,” she says, and his tongue runs over his bottom lip, because they’re talking about this, and he doesn’t remember how to breathe at first. “Like I said, it was a -”  


“Forget the past,” he tells her, not because he doesn’t want to hear it, but because it doesn’t matter. “We can learn each other, you can show me what you want, we can figure out what we like. Everything between us will always be different.”  


She smiles a little, nodding, and then shifts a little, almost like… she’s squirming. “I know, just… I want to be on top.”

His blood stills for a moment, and he swallows nodding. “You want to… be on top?”

She nods again, her eyes on his chest, and then there’s fire, that fire that burns him, alight in her eyes. “Something about being over you, having you looking up at me-”

Cassian has never been a man to just lay down and take it, has never thought of himself as the sort of man that would have his partner over him, but suddenly, the image of Jyn over him, losing control of herself over him, has his mouth dry.

“Whatever you want,” he fumbles out.  


“Whatever I want?” she repeats, eyebrow raising, and yeah…. yeah, she can have whatever she wants from him.  


“Just say the word, and I’m yours,” he insists, and his hips shift a little, because fuck, his cock is hard, now, and his pants feel a little too tight. 

"I probably need to get an implant, then,” she says with a grin, and he… yeah, she should, but he has one, and one should be enough, but then again-

“Yeah, that would be… yeah.”  


Words seem to leave him for a moment, and Jyn’s eyes trail down, down to his legs, and he tries to not shift under her gaze, but he can’t help it. She squirms a little beside him, and then pushes herself off the bed.

“I’m going to go to medical right now and do it.”  


She sounds determined, except - “Jyn, it’s the middle of the night!”

“And? I can steal one and insert it myself.”  


He doesn’t doubt she would do it, except-

“Come back to bed,” he insists, and they weren’t really in bed, but they could be. “There are plenty of things we can do that don’t require an implant.”  


The door is already open and she looks over her shoulder, grinning at him. “I’ll see you later, Cassian.”

The door shuts behind her, and he… fuck.  _fuck_.


	47. getting fucked over a desk or table

The meeting is finally over. In truth, she hadn’t known what to expect - when all eyes had been on her, it was generally because she was in trouble, a problem, an issue. This time, however, she’s the one in charge… and not because she took charge.

No, this time, she was given a command, was told to make the decisions, was allowed to… well, the point is, she had led this meeting, had handed out assignments, and it wasn’t because of a field promotion, wasn’t because she had more or less stolen a ship and made her own plans. Oh no, she had been specifically selected.

Jyn was pretty sure she was actually expected to fail, but every eye had been on her, including the General’s, and when she had asked for questions… no one had any. No one had complaints. Instead, everyone had filed out to due their duties before they took off.

“Thoughts?” she asks, turning towards the back doorway. She knows that he had been there the whole time, had felt his eyes on her, but she hadn’t looked at the dark shadow, knowing that if she did, she would falter, would blink, would…  


“On what?”  


Her brow raises slightly, hands going to her hips, and she waits a long moment…

“Are you asking my opinion on your plan? You already know that it’s a good one. Are you asking my opinion on what Draven thought? He would have spoken against you if he disliked it. Are you asking what I thought about you leading the team, the room, leading the briefing?”  


The fact that he doesn’t give her an answer, that’s enough to tell Jyn that  _that_  is what he is thinking about. She had kept her voice calm and clear, had walked them through every step, had commanded every eye… even the most rigid of Officers had to occasionally call the room to order, but not Jyn. Everyone had been at attention for her.

“Mmm.”  


It’s all she offers, her weight shifting, and she sits back onto the edge of the table, one leg crossing the other, and her hands brace on the edge of the table. She has seen Leia do this before, when she’s waiting on someone to finally explain themselves, but Jyn’s look isn’t as stern. She just waits, waits for Cassian to offer her something, some explanation.

Something is on his mind, and he seems to still be working through it.

Eventually, Cassian steps out of the shadows, but he’s slow, lingering. Her chin raises slightly, because she won’t accept anything other than a full answer at this point, and he continues forward, almost like he’s stalking his prey. She is not prey… and he is not hunting her. She is the huntress, and as he comes fully into the light, where she had only just stood a few moments earlier, all eyes and light on her, she sees it.

Her legs uncross as he approaches, slow and methodical, until he stands between her thighs, hands going to her knees, so that he can tug her to the very edge of the table. He leans forward, into her space, and she leans back as his lips almost brush over hers. She wants an answer.

“Tell me,” she breathes out, and his eyes are heavy, him taking in a shaking breath.   


“You were… magnificent.” She knows that he has likely been thinking that for some time, his words often more simple, nearing on robotic. Something so elaborate, almost pretty…   


“Magnificent?” she asks with a raise of her brow, and maybe she’s fishing for compliments, but she can feel him hard against her leg, can feel that he has had a very physical reaction.  


“Watching you take charge, watching you command the room… you were  _made_ for this.”  


She wants to question that further, but his lips are at her throat, and she’s leaning back on her elbows at this point, her head falling backwards. He sucks at a spot, then nudges lower, his nose brushing aside the collar of her shirt just enough that he can suck a spot into her skin.

“Mmm… I can command more than just a room,” she hums, and one hand comes up, runs into his hair, tugging it backwards.   


Sometimes it’s her, sometimes it’s him, sometimes it’s both of them, or neither… they’re good at taking turns, and if he’s turned on by the fact that she can be in charge, can lead men, can dominate and control-

“Not today,” he says, and he tugs her entirely off the table, then turns her, her feet hitting the ground hard. She’s turned onto her stomach in seconds, and his hands go to her belt, tugging at it.  


The time to tell him to stop is now, there’s always that space for them, the space to tell the other it’s too much, or that they don’t want it, or - 

She’s not stopping him. He’s clearly in a mood, clearly feels something, and if he wants to take charge, Jyn is going to let him.

Her hands work at her belt as well, and she can feel his hands pulling away, grabbing his belt so he can shove his pants down just enough that his cock is free. Her own pants get pushed down just enough that, when he shoves her forward, she’s laying on the table, ass up in the air, and her slit exposed.

“Fuck, watching them watch you… they all  _want_  you.” Jyn wasn’t so sure about that… she wasn’t the sort of woman that anyone else would ever want, not really. She was too much trouble, too damage, but Cassian… Cassian saw her, knew her, encouraged her, and the broken pieces of herself slotted together perfectly with his own fragments. Like now… like how they always fit together now.  


“And now you want them to all know I belong to you?” she supplies, and his fingers are inside of her, fucking her rough and hard, one, two, three fingers curling, until she’s wet enough that he can stroke his cock with her slick, line himself up where to press home.  


“You’re  _leaving_ ,” he gasps, and he presses in halfway, enough that she can feel him, not enough to steal her breath. “And when you’re gone, you’ll still feel this, still feel me.”  


She’ll hate being gone from him, yes, but she’ll have part of him with her. It’s a short mission, a few days at most, and when they get back…… 

The adrenaline of it all, she’ll definitely climb on top. She’ll give him this, this moment to be in charge, because once she’s gone, he’ll have no control until she gets back.

“You go with me everywhere I go,” she tells him, and she tries to press back, but his hand is on her spine, pressing her flat onto the table. “No matter where I am in the galaxy, I can still feel you, still know you are-”  


He slams into her, hitting every deep spot that only this position seems to allow, and she lets out a gasp, her breath stolen from her, along with her words. He isn’t gentle, isn’t kind, his hips rocking back, and he presses into her again, fucks her a few times before he lets up on her back, grabs her hips.

She’s still bent over the table, though, and doesn’t even try to straighten up.

“Fucking-” he slams back in, then pulls out, “better-” in again, and she gasps, “come-” she just might, she really might, “back-” she gasps, and there’s no way to touch herself like this, but he doesn’t seem to care about that right now, just making her feel him, remember him, like she could ever forget, “home.”  


“Yes,” she gasps, and her fingers are digging into the table, as if she could really grab it. All she can do is feel him, feel his body over hers, and she lets out another gasp. “yes, yes, always, yes, I’ll-”  


“Fuck-” He cums then, cums before she can respond, and he pulls out as soon as he finishes, going onto his knees, his fingers pressing into her. He manages to find her clit and her gspot in seconds, and fingers her to her orgasm. She stays bent over until she’s no longer crying, and when he stands back up, his hand wiping on his pants, he turns her around, turns her to face him.  


“You’ll come back,” he murmurs against her lips, and she gives a nod.   


“Always.”  


He gives a nod, then kisses her softly, ever so gently. She clings to him for a moment, then draws away.

“I have to go finish preparations,” she whispers, and he gives another nod, stepping away.  


“Go. And don’t forget.”  


She’s still tugging her pants, up, smirking a little, and she’s a little gross, definitely smells of sex, but - “Never.”


	48. mutual masturbation

Cassian’s fingers are on her slit, rolling her clit every few seconds, then running up and down, and it’s driving her wild. It doesn’t help that Jyn is trying to return the favor, her hand stroking his cock, thumb rolling over the head, and she sucks in a gasp as his fingers dip in just enough that she can feel the pressure, then back out.

This was a terrible idea, a terribly amazing idea, and she wants to cum so badly she hurts, aches, but she can’t, she can’t, she  _won’t_. They’ve been at this all day, starting first thing in the morning, then during lunch, then before dinner, and now, now it’s time to go to bed, and they’re torturing each other, slowly, and she thinks that this might be madness.

It was the most absurd idea, to see if they could do it, because she was always cumming, constantly, from his touch, and he struggled to last as soon as he was in her, as soon as she was blowing him…

They’ve been at this all day, and Jyn thinks she might just cry if she doesn’t get to cum. They’re pushing each other up up up each time, until they’re on edge, and then letting it fade away, returning to their lives, their jobs.

Her wrist twists a little and Cassian’s fingers slide back in, curling up, and she knows what it is - he’s fighting it too. There’s sweat on both their bodies, and when his hand withdraws, Jyn knows that if he touches her again, she really will cum.

“I can’t… Jyn, I can’t,” he groans, and her hand loosens on him, lets him go. His cock slaps onto his stomach, and he lets out a groan, his fingers pressing against that sweet spot deep inside of her a little too hard.   


Jyn chokes on a sob in response, and she has to pull away, because otherwise, she’s going to-

“We’re going to cum this time, right?” she gasps out, and she’s trying, she’s trying so hard, but if her knees press together and she tenses her stomach again, Jyn is pretty sure she’s going to cum, just from that.  


“Fuck yes,” he insists, and he reaches up towards her, again. His fingers slide into her, and his thumb rolls over her clit, and-  


Jyn sees stars, a scream escaping her lips, and she can feel Cassian holding her down with his other hand, keeping her hips on the bed. She can think of nothing, though, nothing but absolutely bliss, and it’s not until she feels warmth shoot out onto her stomach that she realizes Cassian finished himself as well, all over her.

He collapses onto the bed beside her, breathing hard. Jyn can’t even look at him, can’t even… 

Another spasm rocks through her body, and she shakes, eyes closing and whimpers escaping her throat. She feels Cassian reaching down, sliding his hand over her stomach, and he’s definitely trailing some of his cum down, around, over her clit. He rubs it just enough to send her into yet another spasm, and her legs clench around his hand, her body rolling towards him, trying to have him stop.

“I can’t,” she gasps, and his hand withdraws, rubs over the blanket beside them, then curls around the back of his head. His fingers run into her hair, brushing it back, and his lips press to her forehead.  


She returns the gesture, hand on the side of his neck, her lips pressing to his in soft, gentle kisses.

“You did so good,” she murmurs, and he nods against her lips.   


“As did you…”  


They’re both still trying to breathe, but he eventually climbs up, grabs a shirt, and wipes off her stomach. She has to go to the bathroom, but moving…

“Oh Force, we’re never doing that again,” Jyn says with a bit of laughter, and Cassian chokes on laughter with her, tucking himself back against her side.  


“Never?” he asks, and she shakes her head.   


“I think I enjoy multiples over dragging one out…”  


He snorts, his hand running down her side, and she shivers, a chill settling over her skin.

“Well, I enjoy giving multiples…”  


His hand goes lower, and she pulls away, shaking her head and laughing.

“Not tonight. I need a break.”  


He lets out a sigh of relief, his head hitting the pillow.

“Good, I’m going to fuck you in the morning, then.”  


Her eyes are already half closed, and she really does have to get up, but-

“Holding you to that.”


End file.
